Author Archive for Gina – Page 2

Detoxing wine, cheese and guilt

Anyone else in detox mode and swearing off food this week? The holidays have a way of making me totally forget that I don’t NEED 12 pounds of cheese and four trays of cookies in one day. So I’m with you.

But I’m also using the new year to detox patterns, behaviors and tiny ways I betray myself.

I believe that the last two years have served the purpose of a massive cosmic restructuring. Did you feel that too?

Nothing felt quite right, or things were BLATANTLY wrong. And then, a tiny ray of light in the form of growth and a soul lesson. A little gratitude, a little joy and then BOOM! Another cosmic tornado. Rinse. Repeat. Fall onto bed exhausted and wishing someone would invent an app that allowed you to take a 48 hour break from your own reality. Just me???

Can we say buh-bye to all the bullshit?

 

via GIPHY

 

So, if 2017-2018 were about dismantling, 2019 is about CREATION, FLOW and the PROTECTION OF YOUR ENERGY.

Can you get on board with me there? What are you saying goodbye to that ISN’T wine and cheese related? Here are a few things I hope you’ll detox with me:

  1. Needing approval from the people you’re closest to. Doesn’t matter how much you love someone or how much they do for you, they do not need to give you the seal of approval on how you live. If you’re reading this and you’re over 18, you don’t need permission. Go do you.

  2. Worrying about how you’ll be perceived. Could you maybe change “What if they think I’m being preachy? What if they think I’m being stupid? What if they hate my hair?” to “What if I regret never doing it? What if I reach ONE person? What if this is what I’m here to do?”
  3. Feeling guilty for having normal human needs. It’s ok to need a break, a nap or a glass of chardonnay at noon.
  4. Saying yes to anything that deep down actually insults your soul. Because you’ll pay for that. In exhaustion, regret or heartache. So, save yourself that trouble and whether it’s about a new relationship or volunteering for the damn bake sale, say NO when you mean NO.
  5. Doubting your intuition. That sh*t is never wrong.
  6. Allowing people to trespass your boundaries. Family, partners, co-workers, even your children. Make them aware of your boundaries and don’t feel guilty for a SECOND about protecting them. Your boundaries teach people (even tiny ones) how to treat you.

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?? What are you releasing once and for all for 2019?

Leave a comment and let me know so I can add to my own list!

 


 

Ready to GET HIGH in 2019?!?!?!

HIGH SOCIETY is coming soon!

This is the premier community for ANYONE who is ready to go DEEP in a shallow world.

Anyone who is ready and willing to commit to radical self-awareness and CONSISTENT personal and professional growth. (Cuz we all know that life tends to distract us from living. HIGHER LIVING requires practice and consistency. But who says it can’t be a blast?!)

This is for anyone who is tired of choosing between miracles and wants MORE of everything.

More love

More beauty

More money

More soul

More depth

More LIFE!

We are redefining what it means to be HIGH SOCIETY – a tribe of visionaries who will change the world by coming together to think, earn, serve, live and love from the HIGHEST level of consciousness.

And yes, we might do it in heels and with a glass of champagne but make no mistake, we are going DEEP. We will be spiritual AND sexy. We will be soulful AND wealthy. We will be strategic AND creative. We will be the dynamic, multi-layered human beings we were created to be!

Details coming soon….

 

High Society coming soon

I Quit

I hope you’ll take just five minutes to read this. Because it will help you. I’ve been thinking about you. And how to share this. How to reach out after so long. And because I’m human it went something like this:

I should really write something..

But it’s been so long…

What if they don’t even remember me?

What if they’re mad? Or worse, what if they didn’t even notice?

And what the hell is that smell? (Mom thoughts)

I’m going to tell a story… and if you want to feel happier, and who really doesn’t, I think you’ll like it.

It explains something I discovered this year and is also the reason you haven’t heard from me.

So, I had to walk a REALLY rocky path to get to the big gorgeous ending of this story, but it was worth it.

If you’ve known me a while, you know that about two and a half years ago, a confrontation with my own truth led to a painful, but ultimately blessed divorce.

At the time, I was a few years into a Copy Writing and Branding business that allowed me to make that change, support my kids, have lunch with my friends, travel to California a few times a year, and basically do all of the things that society deems “successful.” I enjoyed a couple of years of not bothering to look at price tags, taking afternoons off to go to yoga and generally congratulating myself on a job well done.

But then? I got uncomfortable. Like REALLY uncomfortable.

You know… Like when your soul knows some shit about you and knows you know it too and is looking at you like this:

Girl, please!

I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I had been allowing the bright side of success to cloud another, HIGHER truth that I hold sacred.

It doesn’t matter how big of a game you’re playing if you’re playing the wrong game.

Here’s how my thirty personalities broke this down for me:

I really don’t love what I’m doing.

But you’re so good at it and it WORKS.

Yeah, but I’m not really inspired by it.

So what. You have three kids to feed, you don’t have the luxury of being inspired all the time. You should be grateful.

Wait what? That’s absurd. Why bother if it’s not feeling like fun, sparkly, beautiful, mystical magic anymore?

Um. Cuz you’re an adult.

Yeah? Well it’s overrated. I quit.

Then, my friend died.

Katie was my age. We had been friends for 34 years. She was truly the kindest, happiest human being I knew. Mother of two little boys, children’s book author. Diagnosed with a TERRIBLE disease that stole her voice, then her ability to move, her memory and in a few short months, her life.

As I read the obituary, the hundreds of social media posts and heartfelt condolences, I started thinking… If this were me, if it were MY time, what would people say about ME?

I started writing… would they say, “She was a loving mother and could write some serious sales copy.” Ugh. Would they say, “She was really great at playing it safe?”  Yikes. Katie had lived her life EXACTLY how she wanted to. And her death made me question EVERYTHING I was giving my precious time to.

Before I share with you the conclusion, I want you to ask yourself this question-

WHAT TRUTH ARE YOU IGNORING? What truth is your soul WELL aware of, and just waiting for you to admit? What would you be PROUD to read about yourself?

Really think about that, because here’s what happened next.

I felt stuck. Then I felt sad. Then I started blaming OTHER things that were actually perfectly fine. Then I started noticing that I was snapping at my kids and resenting things like spilled coffee. And that’s really how you know you’ve gone way off course.

If spilling coffee causes you to wonder why bad things happen to good people, you need a change honey. Make no mistake. This was PAINFUL. A broad and flexible form of despair that made no sense to most everyone who knew me and who only saw the highlight reel.

So, I stopped. I still committed to my regular clients. But I stopped taking on new ones. I stopped answering the phone. I energetically shoved away anything that felt like a disruption in flow. I threw up a wall to anything that even remotely insulted my soul. And I realized that I had taken myself to ground zero.

I had basically, consciously dismantled a six-figure business. Courageous or insane?

Time will tell. But here’s what I know for sure.

You cannot outrun your truth. You may stay a few laps ahead of it for a while, but it will start whispering.

Shhhh” you’ll say and go on with life. So, it will get louder, clawing at you, shouting, until you can’t ignore it anymore and suddenly you’re crying in public, getting insulted by random Facebook posts and considering your first tattoo. (Maybe that’s just me).

YOU HAVE TO BE WHOLE.

You see, I am a writer, yes, and I write awesome copy, content and brand strategy for small businesses and entrepreneurs.

AND.

I am a spiritual teacher. A motivational speaker. And a reluctant intuitive.

I am all those things. So, what did I finally figure out? (I thank you for your patience.)

Success is only possible and sustainable through SACRED INTEGRATION.

You need to feed ALL parts of your whole in order to be truly happy.

I needed to do the same. I needed to feed the part that was spiritual AND the part that was sexy. The part that was strategic AND mystical. The part that knows how to make money AND the part that can find the exact words to tune someone into their own HIGHER truth.

I am no longer able to do things that aren’t aligned with a HIGHER perspective. A HIGHER motivation. A HIGHER level of awareness.

I won’t get into some of the things I ran into in my industry that really had me questioning my faith in humanity, but I will say that I could no longer play a role in it, no matter how shiny and VIP-ish that role was.

I am a mermaid. No fear of depth and a great fear of shallow bullshit. You must be willing to leave the comfort of the surface to find the treasure in the deep.

And that’s how I came to the launch of my new company, HIGHER MEDIA GROUP, and its inaugural community, HIGH SOCIETY.

But this is not business as usual.

We are redefining what it means to be HIGH SOCIETY. Our mission is to be a home for people who are committed to living, working, earning, loving and thinking at a HIGHER level. For people who know that success is not measured in numbers alone, but in numbers AND peace.

We pencil in workouts. We pencil in meetings. We pencil in car-pooling commitments and committee obligations and a thousand other things. And we forget to pencil in PEACE.

You must pay attention to ALL Of your parts. You must pay attention to the part of you that straight up wants more money. And the part of you that appreciates a stunning work of art. And the part of you that longs to be comfortable in your sensuality. And the part of you that is ready to go deeper, to shine brighter, to RISE.

It ALL matters.

Please. Stop thinking that you’ll handle THIS problem once you’ve handled THAT one. Stop fragmenting your happiness. Stop feeling guilty for wanting more. Because the truth is, this is your time here. And it’s not infinite.

Integrate. Align.

And RECEIVE, RECEIVE, RECEIVE!

Let 2019 be the year you PAY ATTENTION. The year you finally realize that the clock is ticking and that there’s beauty everywhere and that you’re entitled to be a part of it.

With love,
Gina

P.S Thanks for reading.

If you’d like to be a part of the NEW High Society, I’ll be telling you how you can join after the first of the year. No velvet rope. No application required. No huge and unattainable price tag. If you want a discount code, just hit reply here and tell me one truth. One thing you can no longer ignore. One sacred agreement with yourself! I might not know you personally, but I love you. Because that’s how the new High Society rolls. Love and light and Happy Holidays!!!!

One Soul, One Goal

Ever watch the news and find yourself thinking, “WTF?!”

Sometimes it seems like every where I look there is something to be scared of. A war brewing, violence erupting, trees being burned, women being assaulted, men being demonized.

I’m an empath, so sometimes I see these things and it really gets me down.

And then I look up… and I shift my gaze… and I see it…

The love.

The light.

The stories of people overcoming tremendous obstacles and triumphing over adversity.

I see people helping other people.

And the sun peeking out, throwing sparkles over the snow.

I see myself in the mirror and remember what I went through this past year.

And I think about the people who got me through. The friends, the mentors, the incredible healers who blew my mind with their intuition and Divine gifts.

I see my kids and their innocent hearts and their wild and hilarious imaginations.

I see women finally having a voice.

I see men finding the courage to lean into their sensitivity, to their spirit, coming to the realization that STRENGTH is in vulnerability.

And it’s all so freaking beautiful!

 

A few years ago I ran a program. The Miracle Project. And the reviews were astounding. I stepped away from it when my business took on a new direction but I never quite put it down.

It kept whispering to me. Kept tapping me on the shoulder.

And then, more than one intuitive reader told me that it is indeed my life’s work. Which of course, I already knew.

 

So today I am listening to that nudge from Spirit. I am not running that program yet, and I’m not sure I will, but I know I am supposed to be having this conversation. So I have opened up the FREE Facebook group, One Soul, One Goal. Here’s what its all about:

One Soul, One Goal was born out of a commitment to raising the collective consciousness through truth, love and light. Our mission is to inspire 1 million people to live more consciously as a bridge to a deeper, more meaningful experience of life!

We hope to inspire with “user-friendly enlightenment,”meaning, that this conversation, this way of life, is available to anyone who wants it!

Together, we can make an impact. Together we can light the way. Together we can triumph over negativity, judgment and fear.

We are all one, sharing this one earth, sharing this one human experience. We are, in essence, one soul, sharing one goal of happiness, success and unconditional love and acceptance.

 

Do you believe that if we commit to living better, every day, for just a few minutes, that life can change?

Do you believe that truth, love and light can indeed win?

Do you believe that you can live a “real” life, swear a little, enjoy wine and reality TV and STILL be on a conscious path?

If you answered yes to any of those, please come and join the group and help me by inviting your friends to join too! Let’s see how many people we can get to take a baby step towards purpose, joy and abundance.

You can join for free by clicking right here.

Because life is short. And you are Divinely supported. And you can have it all.

Dreams, Deals and Bullsh*t

Ever get emails that sound like this?

“This will never happen again at this price!”

“This is the ONLY WAY to get happy and rich!”

“In just six weeks, your life will be exactly what you want it to be!”

Or they have a tone like this:

“Here’s a shot of my mansion in this luxury city and you don’t have one yet because you’ve never worked with me.”

or

My life is amazing because I am my own boss and you’re unhappy because you’re not.”

So much of it is complete crap! And the first week of January is LOADED with emails like these. (Gotta capitalize on all that resolution stuff right?)

You want the truth? Here’s the truth.

I can’t blame them, as our business mentors teach us that we are supposed to represent the “after” of the before and after scenario.

Have I made great money doing what I love? Yep.

Did I navigate a horrendous personal situation and come out the other side with a completely transformed spirit and a peace and resilience NO one thought was possible? Yep.

Do I enjoy a pretty great reality that allowed me to take yesterday off and spend the day with my honey, and a day off last week to drink chardonnay at noon with my friends? Yes.

But I’m not the after honey.

I’m the middle. There is no AFTER.

Living a great life- a life of bliss and beauty and love and purpose and abundance, has nothing to do with reaching a concrete milestone.

Write the book. Make six figures. Meet the man. Lose the weight. Those are all great goals. Great dreams. But I can promise you they are NOT the end. They are not the “after.”

The “good” life comes from one thing and one thing only – ALIGNMENT. Daily, consistent commitment to alignment.

The dictionary defines alignment as “an agreement or alliance.” What alignment is to us is an agreement and alliance between our soul and our reality. A contract between our hearts and our daily lives. A commitment to attuning our truth to our choices.

Listen I’ve published a best-selling book on amazon. I’ve made the six figures. I’ve spoken on the stages and met the celebrities. Did ANY of it permanently enhance my daily experience of life? No.

What finally DID? Alignment. Making sure I knew exactly what my non-negotiable feelings and values were.

I want to feel: Love, Light, Creativity, Connection, Significance, Freedom, Abundance.

Free time, money, love, creativity, purpose, connection to spirit, connection to family and friends.

Those are the things I will not negotiate on. I have actually lost clients who didn’t like the fact that my team and I don’t work weekends. I didn’t sweat it, because there’s always another client and my weekends with my family are NOT on the negotiation table.

She offered me a LOT of money on monthly retainer, but basically, I would have to be at her beck and call. No thanks. Because I knew what would happen. I would be cranky as hell, resenting her, resenting the work, and not doing a very good job because of it. We would BOTH lose.

One of my colleagues recently said to me, “I have worked SO hard to fill my program that my wife honestly threatened to leave me.” Um.. ok. The whole point to selling your program was so you could spend MORE time with your wife, so how does it make sense to work SO hard at it that she might not be there at the end? That’s some major misalignment and a sure fire fast track to disaster and regret!

With every decision I make, I ask myself this question:

Is this decision in alignment with my non-negotiables? Does it keep me feeling how I want to feel and having what I want to have?

If it doesn’t, it’s a no. No matter how scary or painful it might be to walk away from, it’s far more painful to be out of alignment with your soul, breaking contract with your heart and suffering massive spirit fatigue because of it.

I can promise you that your truth will not mislead you and you will find yourself living the life you imagined.

But it doesn’t happen in the AFTER, it happens in the middle. What the after actually is, is the peace of living in flow and alignment on a DAILY basis. It’s not a destination you reach, it’s a way of life you commit to.

So, what are your non-negotiables? How do you want to feel? And are your choices in alignment? Are you honoring the contract between your reality and your soul?

If not, this is the year to do it ok?

I’m with you.

 

*********

Something special for my fellow heart-centered entrepreneurs. Are you are pushing, striving, not sleeping, not enjoying your business, frustrated, overwhelmed and working too hard for too little in return? You are out of alignment honey!

Would love to work with you in a private Align and Define VIP session. “Freedom business” can feel like a big fat joke if you are chained to your computer and STILL can’t get a client. Freedom comes from flow and flow comes from alignment. Period. Read more here and let’s get you on the calendar and set up for a much easier 2018!

 

Is Hollywood Ruining Our Relationships?

It was about eight years ago on a quiet fall evening. I had been married for a few years and my two young children had uncharacteristically gone to bed at the same time and without drama. If you’re a woman with a child, a job or any other kind of time-eating, energy-draining list of responsibilities you know that beautiful feeling of finally sitting down with a glass of pinot and a fashion mag. I opened up to a quiz that said “How to Tell If You Have Found Your Prince Charming.” I read through the questions. Does he make you feel like a princess? Does he surprise you with romantic gifts and last minute get-aways? Is he more like Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Matthew McConaughey? As I’m reading, the The Notebook is on the TV. It’s the kissing in the rain scene and Ryan Gosling is doing it very well. I look over to see my (now ex-) husband watching some kind of YouTube nonsense on his laptop. He’s laughing, cookie crumbs on the desk in front of him and he’s wearing a shirt that says “If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my underwear.” True story…

Read the rest of this article on the Huffington Post!

Spiritual gag order officially lifted

Gina HussarIt’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me.

But I have a good excuse.

My husband and I got a divorce and what followed was as spiritual gag order of sorts while I waded through the wreckage, while we both rebuilt a friendship with each other and laboriously (with the help of every kind of therapy under the sun) pieced life back together. (HUGELY grateful I have the kind of business that allows me the freedom to move through life however I need to!)

We are peaceful, thank God and I think we actually like each other more this way.

For us, the most loving thing to do was part ways amicably, eat pizza as a family once a week and continue to send each other good-natured, mildly insulting memes. It works for us.

This has simultaneously been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and the thing that opened the door to the most miracles. And it brought with it lessons that I hope every single one of you will embody.

Here they are, in random order:

1. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn how your intuition speaks to you and then follow that shit. Because it’s never wrong!

2. We learn by contrast. Pain is information that teaches you that what you currently have is the opposite of what your soul needs.

3. Know enough about your car to get by.

4. Buy the shoes.

Pull the blinds shut and don’t answer the phone.

Book the trip.

Hug your cat.

Let the kids stay up late.

Ask your soul what it needs moment to moment and do it. It might need a pilgrimage to a sacred place. It might need Netflix and Doritos. All equally valid.

5. Have a lawyer, an accountant, and a stylist you trust.

6. Have these friends: Ones who don’t care what you look like, ones who don’t care what your house looks like, ones who hug you while simultaneously telling you the tough truth you need to hear.

7. The fastest path to happiness is presence. Dwelling in the past is painful, dwelling in the future is pointless.

8. Realize that courage isn’t staying together for the kids, or enduring a job you hate. Courage is in being strong enough to want something that’s held together by more than your obligations and willingness to settle.

And luckily, once you’re through it, you finally understand that avoiding the pain was more painful than the reality of facing it.

9. Peace is a choice. Period.

And character is a summation of your habits. So, if you want to be a good person you must be habitually good no matter what is thrown at you or who’s in front of you. Decide what kind of person you are and then be that person. All the time. No matter what.

10. Whatever it is you know you need to do, be or have, the fastest way to get there is to be there.

11. Everyone is wounded. Everyone is connected by a universal human story. Lead with love and compassion and watch how much happier you get.

12. Practice discernment. Learn to beautifully balance following the flow with your non-negotiable boundaries.

13. Accept the fact that the most radical act of self-love you can perform is to say “no.” It won’t be popular. It will be worth it.

14. You can’t outrun your truth. You might stay a few laps ahead of it, but it will always claw its way to the surface. So save yourself time and heartache and EMBODY your truth. It’s the best way to find out what you’re made of and who belongs in your life.

Because life is short. And grace is Divine. And there is massive, blinding beauty in following your truth, in searching for the miracles underneath, and in opening to the experiences you can’t make sense of but are undoubtedly leading you to your destiny.

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…

Some warm and fuzzy lessons for surviving 2017, because 2016 kinda sucked

Happy new year. No really. Happy. Freaking. New Year.

Why am I so adamantly in love with 2017? Because 2016 tested my spiritual resolve more than anything EVER has. It was, according to astrologers, a “transition year” not just for me, but for MANY people. The collective consciousness was CRAZY this year. I am sure you felt it. (A-hem, Trump induced nationwide Election insanity).

Uncertainty, massive fear, tests of strength, a call to arms for warrior courage.

Now that’s interesting, isn’t it? Fear and uncertainty, acting as a bridge to extraordinary change and courage. This year nearly did me in, and yet, it also brought me back to life.

So to that I say, F you 2016. F you, and THANK YOU. Without your bullying, without your ambush attacks on my soul, I might still be pretending, complying and squandering time on a life that was not in line with my deepest truths. So thanks 2016. You’re a pal. I consider you the brutally honest friend who’s not afraid to say, “Yes, you look fat in those jeans.”

Here are a few things I learned (not without blood, sweat and tears) and the things I plan to carry with me into this bright, sparkly, merciful new year. Feel free to steal.

some warm and fuzzy lessons for surviving 2017

  • You can’t outrun your truth. You may stay a few laps ahead, but eventually it catches up. And if you don’t listen to it whispering, the whisper becomes a scream. And if you still don’t listen, the universe will implode your life in such a huge way that you cannot ignore it anymore. And spoiler alert— that’s not fun. Ask yourself, “Am I being patient or suffering in silence? Am I giving this situation time, or am I hiding behind a wall of fear, clinging fiercely to comfortable discontent?” The truth isn’t always pretty, but it’s always worth it.
  • Forgiveness is not a betrayal of your pride. Peace is a choice. Sure, you have a RIGHT to be raging. Angry. Hurt. You also have a right to accept change, to throw love and compassion around, to choose the serenity of peace over the heaviness of resentment, to see everyone in your life as a spiritual teacher and be grateful for their presence, their lessons and yes, even their pain. Because you grew. You learned. It’s just that anger is really dense, so until you push it aside you won’t see the miracle behind it. And the miracle is breathtaking. Your only job is to assume that everything happening to you is for your highest good. So accept it. Trust. Choose peace. Move on.
  • What’s best for you is best for the people you love. Period. Martyrdom makes you look older. So don’t do it. You help no one by abandoning yourself. In fact, you are actually f**king up EVERYONE when you do that. Because the people who look up to you (especially important if you have kids) will follow your lead. And if they see you abandoning yourself, settling for less, tolerating emptiness, they will adopt that as normal and do the same. Want that on your conscience? Me neither. Be your own advocate. Happiness is YOUR birth right too. At some point, you should learn that it’s not selfish to honor the callings of your own soul, regardless of who you feel obligated to. I heard Joel Osteen speak this year. He said, (CLEARLY speaking to me personally 😉 “You might be saying, ‘what if I hurt people with my choice?’ and to that I say, ‘what if you miss your destiny?’”
  • Grace is when forgiveness, compassion and acceptance intersect. You can push against or flow with. Guess which one keeps you healthier? Now this is tricky, because grace and patience are very often mistaken by the faithless for weakness. But you and I know better. You and I know that grace is a high calling, reserved for the strong of heart. And it doesn’t hurt your karma either.
  • The more you live by your truth, the more you will find that people you know and love have trouble relating to you. And that’s ok. Because you’re no longer living to please and conform. They are comfortable living that way and that works for them. It just won’t work for you anymore. It’s no biggie. Some people like sushi, some don’t. Don’t judge them for their unwillingness to see differently, and hopefully, they won’t judge you for an inability to be someone you’re not.
  • Do something that scares you at least twice a year. Courage is an element of freedom. When you stretch yourself beyond what’s been true to this point in your life, things you didn’t know you had will be permanently unlocked. This year, I spoke on stage to 400 people. I also made a decision to permanently change my life in a HUGE way. Both of those things scared the shit out of me. And both raised me to a higher level of faith, empowerment and bad-assness.
  • Darkness is nothing more than incubation. Sue Monk Kidd wrote a book called When the Heart Waits which became a bible for me this year. In it, she suggests that we not dramatize the dark night of the soul as something awful and gut wrenching, but rather take a lesson from nature. Caterpillars go into a dark cocoon to be reborn as butterflies. Babies stay in a dark womb until Divine timing tells them it’s time come forth as life-changing miracles. Why then, do we assume OUR dark seasons are anything BUT a blessed and natural incubation period? You aren’t stuck in darkness. You’re just incubating. Divine intervention is sometimes as quiet as a whisper and as slow as molasses, but it’s there. So just wait, with grace, until you are given the unmistakable green light that it’s time to be born again, stronger, more beautiful and in gorgeous technicolor.
  • You can be compassionate without being responsible. This is tough for us do-gooders. Even tougher for us empaths. After all, we not only witness people’s pain, we FEEL it right along with them. So it’s EXTRA suck-ish when we are a PART of people’s pain because then we get to enjoy that cocktail blend of sadness AND guilt. Lucky us. But here’s what I know. You can feel a huge amount of compassion for someone else’s pain, for their journey, without accepting responsibility for it. You are only responsible for yourself, your choices. And they are only responsible for theirs. You cannot MAKE someone happy. You cannot MAKE someone change. You can only see them for who they are. A Divine being, just like you, doing the best they can with what they know. But there must be a line in the sand.  There must be a point where you can say, “I SEE your pain, and I bless your pain, but I cannot CARRY your pain as my own.” Here’s where God gets good. When you finally stop carrying someone’s pain, guess what they have to do? They have to get stronger, build their muscles and carry it themselves. So when you hand it back to them, they have to finally SEE it and in many cases they will finally say to themselves, “Ohhhh, so THIS is what it looks like. Yeah, no thanks.” They will then, hopefully, make a choice to change because THEY don’t want to carry that shit either.
  • Purpose is not one central focus that only super lucky people find. Purpose evolves as YOU evolve. Today, your purpose might be to care for a friend in need. Tomorrow your purpose might be to finally finish the damn book. Your purpose is not something you find after a long and treacherous journey, it’s something you choose moment to moment, every day, to give your whole heart to.
  • Lead with love. Love the pain. Love the spirit assaulters. Love the tears. Love the possibilities. Love the painful growth. (It’s unlocking your destiny) Love the unanswered prayers. (They ARE being answered, you just don’t like how it looks yet.) Love it all. Leading with love is the fastest path to peace, to new beginnings and to miracles.
  • And life is too damn short to settle for less than soul-shaking miracles.

Cheers to the new year.

Follow the flow. Hear the whispers. Honor your heart.

Truth looks HOT on you.

I hope this blows your mind!

It’s inspired bad movies, good movies, epic novels and more than a few mid-life crisis jaunts around the world.
 It was the focus of my own misery for more than a decade.
It can fool even the smartest people into thinking that their life is less meaningful, less whole than it ought to be.
What am I talking about? PURPOSE.
What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with my life? 
Where is my life going?
Those are questions that downright HAUNT a good portion of the population. After all, thanks to Disney and other well-intended fairy tales we are programmed to believe that we have one destiny, one purpose on this earth and that if we don’t find it, well hell, we missed the boat and any prayer of happiness.
To that I say….. bullshit!
Don’t get me wrong. I fell for that myself for a very long time. And I was miserable because I tried everything under the sun and nothing clicked. I just couldn’t figure it out and I felt like a failure. And when you’re in that space, doesn’t it seem like you have a heightened awareness of how sure everyone ELSE seems about it all? (Curse you Facebook newsfeed!)
Then it hit me. What was making me miserable wasn’t the lack of a single purpose, but the endless journey, the endless questioning.
It was never a lack of answers that made me unhappy it was my endless quest for them. Always needing to see the future rather than leaning into the present. If I had only known that moving gracefully through moment by present moment WAS the answer to the universal question.
Ask any parent who’s child has just been diagnosed with an illness and they will tell you that their life’s purpose at that moment is to love and care for their child with unwavering commitment and fierce determination.

Ask the Olympic athlete and their life purpose is to reach their maximum potential for physical fitness and the highest level of achievement. But after that they better be able to change their life purpose or they are faced with the reality that they are washed up at 15! (This is what happens when former child stars, now addicts, never realized that their purpose could evolve!)

Let me make life easier for you and abolish the question once and for all. Ask me what your purpose is and I will tell you that you don’t have ONE.
No one has just ONE purpose. Life is fluid. Purpose must be fluid. Your purpose will expand and change shape in direct proportion to your life expanding and changing shape.
And thank God for that!
Stop asking “what is my purpose” and ask instead “what is my purpose TODAY? What is my purpose at this moment?”
Your purpose might be to serve your clients fully today. And tomorrow your purpose might be to take care of the child who is home sick from school. And the day after your purpose might be to finally finish that chapter in your book.
Your purpose, today, every day, each moment is simply this:
PRESENCE.
Your purpose is to stay present to what each moments asks of you.
That’s it. And as you stay present, the steps are revealed, the questions are answered and you find, magically, that you are LIVING your destiny.
Destiny and purpose are not a place you have to pilgrimage to get to. They are right here right now. They are the JOURNEY. They are not something you find, but something you recognize in each moment and choose to respond to.
Now doesn’t that take the pressure off? So please stop buying programs trying to figure out what your purpose is.
My hope for you is that your life is so full and so dynamic that you will have had a thousand purposes by the end of it. That’s magic. That’s flow. THAT is living!

Best. Poem. Ever.

So I’m going through a bit of what my friend Kate Crow calls a personal tsunami. You know, … the kind of thing that you are sure only ever happens to OTHER people .

And maybe someday I’ll talk about it, but for now I wanted to share with you the words that have sustained me. They are the words of a poet named Erin Hanson who lives in Australia, and isn’t even old enough to drink but writes with a depth that you just don’t see these days.

 

Best Poem Ever

 

Here it is:

 

Maybe you’re a wild fire but I’m a mighty oak.

And my roots extend much further than your flickering flames can choke.

So send your smoke towards me, what you see here’s only bark;

And I am far too strong to fear the keen sting of your spark.

Now listen to me wild fire, oh the sky is turning gray.

You better make it fast,for I know rain is on the way.

And then you’ll finally realize your mistake before you go;

That I will never fear you, for you help my forest grow.

So take me down to ashes, make me crackle make me burn.

And from all this destruction, even stronger I’ll return.

 

You see I used to think that the wild fire represented insults and injury.

Then in a different phase of this, I thought the wildfire might represent challenges.

But now I know the truth. My truth.

The wildfire is, and always has been, the one thing that can indeed take us down to ashes.

The thing that can make us burn and wilt while underneath it all simultaneously doing the treacherous but vital work of helping us grow.

The wildfire isn’t challenges or injury. It’s the one thing that, no matter how threatening or uncertain, we find the courage to invite again and again into our lives.

The thing that begins with a spark, can shift to a rage, can end with a gray and exhausted smolder, but is still a better choice than hiding untouched, with no need for courage or strength.

The wildfire… is love.

I completely flipped out. Not proud of it.

Louie

So we got a new puppy. His name is Louie. This is him. Handsome isn’t he?

I love this puppy WAY more than I wanted to, but he has (are you ready?) a stomach virus that is causing him to have several bouts of diarrhea a day. (I promise you there is a point here).

So here’s a breakdown of what happened today:

Louie had no less than 5 accidents in the house. I continually had to tell my clients to hold on so I could try to rush him outside and not surprisingly, I failed 4 of those 5 times and spent much of my day shampooing carpets with one hand and holding the phone in the other trying to do the work I was scheduled to do.

Then: my oldest came home ill with a fever (and an attitude), my middle one couldn’t find her dance shoes, we were late for everything, rushing out the door, then I hear the baby yelling, “Moooom, Louie pooped in the family room!”, so I go back in and my purse hooks on a FULL bottle of root beer which spills its ENTIRE contents all over my laptop and the kitchen floor.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE!??! Then I, just for dramatic flair, raise my arms and look to the sky and say, “WHAT!?! WHAT LESSON AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS? JUST TELL ME BECAUSE I’M NOT HEARING YOU!”

And no shit, clear as day, a voice in my head said, “The lesson is you’ve got a long way to go baby.”

It actually made me laugh, but it also made me realize three REALLY important things that I wanted to share with you:

  1. Gratitude isn’t just a buzz word. And on this crappiest of days, my day was still better than my dear friend who is mourning the loss of her child. And the people who lost everything in the earthquake in Italy. And many, many other people who aren’t as blessed as I am. I am reminded of a quote I read then, “Don’t forget to be grateful to God for what you DO have. After all he didn’t forget to wake you up today.” Regardless of what you believe or what God you worship, it’s a solid reminder to be grateful.
  2. Mastery is a journey. My goal is to stay on the path to what I call “user friendly enlightenment.” Enlightenment for real chicks like me who live in a real world, like wine and who don’t have time to juice things every day or visit ashrams in India. So when the universe whispered to me, “You’ve got a long way to go baby,” I like to think it was a pat on the back for my effort AND a reminder that there is no destination, only an unwavering commitment to keep RE-committing to peace and self-awareness no matter what.
  3. Mind your “ish.” My friends and I have a running joke. “ish.” We love that suffix as it allows us to be vague and noncommittal without being all out negative. One of us says, “How was your day?” and we are totally allowed to reply, “Great….ish.” But I got to thinking about the ish and how many people I know who are happy-ISH. Successful-ISH. They are so close to being all the way, but their ish holds them back. Take time to think about your ish. What needs to shift for you to release it and REALLY be in an enviable state of bliss? For me, I realized today that I am only happy-ISH because I am a bit out of alignment. I was being pulled in a million directions, received some reminders about some things I need to release in my business, was reminded that I have been neglecting my body etc. That ish, for me, is a lack of self-care. If I can set boundaries in business, set goals in fitness and set standards for friendships, set schedules for the kids that don’t put me in a rush etc, then my ish will fade away. (or it will change form.) The point is, ish’s will always pop up. Ask yourself if you have an ish and then NAME It. Figure it out. Release it!

Are you happy-ISH in a relationship that’s ok but not WOWING you?

Are you successful-ish in a business that makes money but steals your soul?

I am declaring today that I will be more mindful of what my body, mind and soul are begging for in an effort to banish that suffix and lean into total glowy-ness. (Thank you for witnessing.)

Get grateful. Stay the course. Mind the ish.

You’ve come a long way too baby. Keep going.