Category: Life Lessons

But…

Yesterday I shared a post about how someone can be in love, but unprepared to care for that love.

I’m blown away by how many people are experiencing this.

Some relate and are heartbroken. Some think I’m terrible for suggesting we should leave anyone who isn’t perfect.

So let’s talk about it…

The reality is that someone can love you to the extent of their capacity and it still won’t be enough for you.

Not because you’re expecting perfection but because you can hold something different, bigger, and deeper than they can even comprehend.

It doesn’t make them wrong, it just makes them wrong for YOU.

And here’s how that looks…

You know that by ignoring your need for depth and connection you are betraying yourself…

But you feel guilty because you can see that they love you as much as they’re capable of…

You don’t want to abandon them and in that, you abandon yourself…

So you spend months or years battling your own mind, your compassion and your truth in a war of words in your head that sounds like this…

“But he is so good to me…”
He can never reach your soul

“But he’s a good man.”
He is an unhealed man.

“But I know deep down he wants to get better.”
Your hope and his good intention will steal years from you.

“But I can SEE how good this could be.”
You are in love with a potential not a reality

“But I can help her.”
Not if she can’t help herself.

“But I just want to keep the peace.”
Whose peace are you keeping?

“But this could be so much more…”
But it isn’t.

Your ability to see the higher version of something is an amazing gift.

But you seeing it does not bring it into being.

You wanting it does not make it real.

Your patience is robbing you of the kind of love your soul requires.

So what can you do?

You can stay, you can wait, you can hope.

Or you can accept them for who they are but bless them from behind a boundary.

You can honor yourself enough to make space for equal love.

You can show yourself the compassion and empathy you so willingly give to others.

Ask yourself “What feels the most like SELF-respect here?” and whatever it is, do it.

It will, as they say, break your heart but fix your vision.

Because maybe you can see their soul and maybe you can feel their potential but honey if THEY can’t, you will always feel alone…

You will always feel fractured…

And you will always be thirsty.

August 1, 2022
“A person can be in love and also unprepared to care for that love.”

And also unaware that they’re unprepared…

And unwilling to BECOME prepared…

Which creates a disconnect they cannot understand or tend to…

Which leads to a separation they don’t want and can’t understand…

Which could all be avoided if BOTH people would love one another enough to…
get uncomfortable
go deeper
find the edges and sit there together
prioritize love over ego
walk through fear hand in hand
heal the trauma that keeps them caged
And prove to one another that the love in front of them is worth growing for…

July 31, 2022
“Feed me, F*ck me and let me watch the game.”

A few days ago, I wrote a post calling men and women to do the work we need to do to truly prepare for wholeness.

It ruffled some feathers.

I could write 100 more posts on this topic and probably will but here’s the comment that’s bothering me today. I’m paraphrasing from several comments, some from men, some from women, all with this message:

“I read your post and it’s too deep. Men are simple. They don’t think that much. They definitely don’t feel that much. Feed me, f*ck me and let me watch the game- that’s all they want.”

Bullshit. My inbox right now is filled with messages from awakening men sharing vulnerable stories of childhood trauma and the effect it has all had on their relationships.

These are not weaklings. These are warriors. They are seeking wholeness. They are chasing down truth.

And as one put it, they are “kung fu fighting these demons and WILL win!”

The problem isn’t that men don’t feel. The problem is that we are still operating from archetypes prescribed by a society that has proven over and over again that it doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing.

Men don’t think and women think too much and one is from mars and the other is from venus and one is a nag and the other is lazy when the truth is, most relationships struggle because they aren’t happening between two adults but between two wounded children walking around in adult bodies.

We are more alike than we’ve been conditioned to think…we just express it differently.

Here’s what I’ve found…

Many men DO in fact want commitment. They value loyalty. They want to feel it all in their souls too they just can’t describe it that way.

They want a woman who can hold them accountable and love them at the same time, without the silent treatment, the bitterness, the withholding. They are looking for the same partnership, the same depth, the same kind of compassionate witness for life that we are, they just don’t express that in the same way.

But to suggest that men are simpletons who only think with their dicks and stomachs is not only archaic, but it diminishes the experiences of the men I know who are READY for more and who have ALSO walked through hell to get here.

So can we please give men permission to admit that they feel? That they long for? That they wish? That they fear? That they hope?

And when they do, may there be a woman on the other side who is embodied and whole enough to honor them for it, hold them through it and walk hand in hand with them out of the fire and into peace.

Because that’s ultimately what we all want.

To NOT think so much. To NOT have to fight to be heard and understood. To NOT have to figure things out over and over.

What the men who commented might not even realize is that underneath their words of bravado is actually a prayer.

When a man says “feed me, fuck me and let me watch the game” what I think he might be saying is…
Be the woman who becomes my peace.

July 28, 2022
“What would you do if you were born three times as brave?”

A message for my fellow people pleasers…

I’m a recovering “good girl” people pleaser too.

Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, after all, we all like to be liked.

We all like to make other people happy. But I liked to take it to the extreme.

An innocent comment of “you should really try…” and BOOM, I was shifting off course to try whatever it was.

A casual “I really wish you wouldn’t…” and BAM! I would drop any dream I was carrying.

As I look back, I realize how many opportunities I passed up on, relationships I stayed too long in, jobs I took, all because I was seeking approval.

Things I didn’t post. Books I didn’t write, all because I was afraid of upsetting, afraid to rock the boat, afraid someone would see my power, my words, my selfie and say, “Who does she think she is?”

You see we are taught to be humble. But too many of us misinterpret that as “stay small. Stay quiet. Stay hidden. And don’t for a minute celebrate yourself.”

“Humble” is praised as a noble attribute. “Pride” is admonished as a trait of the shamefully arrogant. But have you ever read the dictionary definitions?

Humble. (adj.)- Having a low estimate of one’s own importance.

Proud. (adj.)- Feeling deep pleasure as a result of one’s own achievements.

Let that sink in for a minute.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll gladly choose being one proud mother f*cker over someone who underestimates my own importance in this world.

CELEBRATE yourself.

Celebrate your beauty and your wishes and your quirks and your weirdness. Celebrate the fact that you’re a mystic at heart, or an artist in your dreams or a lover of all things sacred.

Celebrate the fact that you’re alive, and have something to say, and have deep desires buried in your heart that are valid and deserve to be lived out.

Celebrate your selfie, because it takes COURAGE to get that intimate with yourself and then share it with the world.

My 2022 goal? At least 100 “humble” people a week shaking their heads at me and saying, “Who does she think she is?” And at least 75% of them realizing they are massively inspired by it.

I’ll take the hits. I’ll transmute that shit into magic faster than you can find the next thing to judge or be offended by.

Because that’s what you do when you’ve had enough.

That’s what you do when your soul is on fire.

That’s what you do when it’s freaking TIME.

So tell me how you’re brave.

Tell me about how the muse has touched you and how life has tested you and how your soul has survived it.

Tell me what makes you burn, what makes you whole, what makes you iconic.

I read a quote that said, “I did not crawl through the shards of my own brokenness to live a mediocre life. I’ve prepared for magic.”

Tell me how you’re magic.

Tell me how you’re winning.

Tell me who you are and what you’ve made and why you’re a goddamn GIANT!

July 27, 2022
I am a girl. I am a woman.

Yesterday I wrote a post straight from the heart. A post born out of sheer frustration that I realized later was less of a post and more of a prayer. It was deep. It was real.

And apparently it offended a few women.

If you missed it, the post was an invitation to men to rise up, do the work, be vulnerable, go deeper. And I concluded the message with this:

“PS. Girls- do the same or stop complaining.“

Well…apparently referring to women as girls is about one of the worst things you can do. Who knew?

“You diminish women by calling them girls.”

“Way to set women back 50 years!”

Here’s how I feel about that-

This is a pic of me as a little girl and a pic of me as a grown woman.

What kind of message does it send to little girls if the word “girl” is downright offensive? How would my daughter feel if she overheard me telling someone, “Don’t you DARE call me a girl.”

I am a girl. I am a woman. I am a mother. A daughter. A friend. A leader. A mother-f*cking goddess on a good day and a vulnerable train wreck on a bad one. I am all the things.

The little girl is an archetype that lives in me and did not disappear when the woman formed.

When I’m smart, I tend to that little girl.

When I’m really smart, I allow her needs to inform me.

That little girl that I still let live and breathe in me is the reason I can still play and hope and dream and believe in magic.

She’s as vital and as real as the woman in me who can quite competently raise a family and lead a company and kiss a man.

In most cases, a word is neutral.

Hell, a knife is neutral. It can save a life, or it can take a life.

What matters is the intention behind it.

So no, I won’t be texting my friends to tell them the title of “girls night” is officially changed to “women’s night” or I’m out.

I won’t be telling my daughter that it’s ok that she’s a girl but only until she’s 18 and then being a girl is very very bad.

What I will be doing is teaching her to trust her own instincts and check in with the intention behind the words that come her way.

I’ll be teaching her to discern between a compliment given genuinely and a cat call given disrespectfully and to accept the compliment with grace. (Shout out to the guy who whistled at me yesterday and left it at that. You made a tired mom’s day. THANK YOU!)

That said, can we please just go back to 1991? We had dial up and car phones and no one was offended when we weren’t offended enough by things we didn’t know were offensive?

And thank you to the people who read the ENTIRE post yesterday and who understood that it was NOT a man-bashing, women-offending rant…
but rather an invitation for BOTH men and women to heal together, to meet at the edges, to bring one another home.

July 24, 2022
A MESSAGE FOR MEN….

I get a lot of random messages from strange men asking what turns me on.

So, I thought I might just put it out there because I think I speak for a lot of women on this and I’m here to help.

Do you want to know what turns me on? What makes me burn for you?

What makes women like me breathless? What awakens every passionate instinct and unwraps every layer of fiery feminine sensuality?

Go to freaking therapy.

Do your work.

Heal yourself.

Lead yourself.

Be brave enough to get uncomfortable for the sake of wholeness and depth.

Be willing to build your emotional muscle so your arms are strong enough to hold the fire of an awakened woman.

Be open enough to lean into a level of depth you’ve never experienced.

Talk.

Be humble enough to admit that you don’t know everything.

Go deep.

Get real.

Stop hiding behind surface-level sex.

Evolve.

Confront what you need to confront so you can move forward without the shadow of your past.

Stop thinking that vulnerability is weakness. It takes a GIANT of a wild man to get vulnerable and it’s HOT.

Stop running from magic when it’s exactly what you need.

Stop telling yourself she’s too much when the reality is you’re just afraid to be enough.

Lead yourself so you can lead ME.

Believe that you can handle it. Act accordingly.

Be the safe space. The strong ground. The calm for her storm.

Do this and you’ll find your Goddess. Do this and you’ll be taken to a place of wholeness and ecstasy you didn’t know existed and likely wouldn’t have found on your own.

Do this… and you’ll be home.

P.S. Girls- do the same or stop complaining.

July 23, 2022
Detoxing wine, cheese and guilt
Anyone else in detox mode and swearing off food this week? The holidays have a way of making me totally forget that I don’t NEED 12 pounds of cheese and four trays of cookies in one day. So I’m with you.

But I’m also using the new year to detox patterns, behaviors and tiny ways I betray myself.

I believe that the last two years have served the purpose of a massive cosmic restructuring. Did you feel that too?

Nothing felt quite right, or things were BLATANTLY wrong. And then, a tiny ray of light in the form of growth and a soul lesson. A little gratitude, a little joy and then BOOM! Another cosmic tornado. Rinse. Repeat. Fall onto bed exhausted and wishing someone would invent an app that allowed you to take a 48 hour break from your own reality. Just me???

Can we say buh-bye to all the bullshit?

via GIPHY

So, if 2017-2018 were about dismantling, 2019 is about CREATION, FLOW and the PROTECTION OF YOUR ENERGY.

Can you get on board with me there? What are you saying goodbye to that ISN’T wine and cheese related? Here are a few things I hope you’ll detox with me:
1. Needing approval from the people you’re closest to. Doesn’t matter how much you love someone or how much they do for you, they do not need to give you the seal of approval on how you live. If you’re reading this and you’re over 18, you don’t need permission. Go do you.
2. Worrying about how you’ll be perceived. Could you maybe change “What if they think I’m being preachy? What if they think I’m being stupid? What if they hate my hair?” to “What if I regret never doing it? What if I reach ONE person? What if this is what I’m here to do?”
3. Feeling guilty for having normal human needs. It’s ok to need a break, a nap or a glass of chardonnay at noon.
4. Saying yes to anything that deep down actually insults your soul. Because you’ll pay for that. In exhaustion, regret or heartache. So, save yourself that trouble and whether it’s about a new relationship or volunteering for the damn bake sale, say NO when you mean NO.
5. Doubting your intuition. That sh*t is never wrong.
6. Allowing people to trespass your boundaries. Family, partners, co-workers, even your children. Make them aware of your boundaries and don’t feel guilty for a SECOND about protecting them. Your boundaries teach people (even tiny ones) how to treat you.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?? What are you releasing once and for all for 2019?

Leave a comment and let me know so I can add to my own list!

Ready to GET HIGH in 2019?!?!?!

HIGH SOCIETY is coming soon!

This is the premier community for ANYONE who is ready to go DEEP in a shallow world.

Anyone who is ready and willing to commit to radical self-awareness and CONSISTENT personal and professional growth. (Cuz we all know that life tends to distract us from living. HIGHER LIVING requires practice and consistency. But who says it can’t be a blast?!)

This is for anyone who is tired of choosing between miracles and wants MORE of everything.

More love

More beauty

More money

More soul

More depth

More LIFE!

We are redefining what it means to be HIGH SOCIETY – a tribe of visionaries who will change the world by coming together to think, earn, serve, live and love from the HIGHEST level of consciousness.

And yes, we might do it in heels and with a glass of champagne but make no mistake, we are going DEEP. We will be spiritual AND sexy. We will be soulful AND wealthy. We will be strategic AND creative. We will be the dynamic, multi-layered human beings we were created to be!

Details coming soon….
January 3, 2019
I Quit

I hope you’ll take just five minutes to read this. Because it will help you. I’ve been thinking about you. And how to share this. How to reach out after so long. And because I’m human it went something like this:

I should really write something..

But it’s been so long…

What if they don’t even remember me?

What if they’re mad? Or worse, what if they didn’t even notice?

And what the hell is that smell? (Mom thoughts)

I’m going to tell a story… and if you want to feel happier, and who really doesn’t, I think you’ll like it.

It explains something I discovered this year and is also the reason you haven’t heard from me.

So, I had to walk a REALLY rocky path to get to the big gorgeous ending of this story, but it was worth it.

If you’ve known me a while, you know that about two and a half years ago, a confrontation with my own truth led to a painful, but ultimately blessed divorce.

At the time, I was a few years into a Copy Writing and Branding business that allowed me to make that change, support my kids, have lunch with my friends, travel to California a few times a year, and basically do all of the things that society deems “successful.” I enjoyed a couple of years of not bothering to look at price tags, taking afternoons off to go to yoga and generally congratulating myself on a job well done.

But then? I got uncomfortable. Like REALLY uncomfortable.

You know… Like when your soul knows some shit about you and knows you know it too and is looking at you like this:

I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I had been allowing the bright side of success to cloud another, HIGHER truth that I hold sacred.

It doesn’t matter how big of a game you’re playing if you’re playing the wrong game.

Here’s how my thirty personalities broke this down for me:

I really don’t love what I’m doing.

But you’re so good at it and it WORKS.

Yeah, but I’m not really inspired by it.

So what. You have three kids to feed, you don’t have the luxury of being inspired all the time. You should be grateful.

Wait what? That’s absurd. Why bother if it’s not feeling like fun, sparkly, beautiful, mystical magic anymore?

Um. Cuz you’re an adult.

Yeah? Well it’s overrated. I quit.

Then, my friend died.

Katie was my age. We had been friends for 34 years. She was truly the kindest, happiest human being I knew. Mother of two little boys, children’s book author. Diagnosed with a TERRIBLE disease that stole her voice, then her ability to move, her memory and in a few short months, her life.

As I read the obituary, the hundreds of social media posts and heartfelt condolences, I started thinking… If this were me, if it were MY time, what would people say about ME?

I started writing… would they say, “She was a loving mother and could write some serious sales copy.” Ugh. Would they say, “She was really great at playing it safe?” Yikes. Katie had lived her life EXACTLY how she wanted to. And her death made me question EVERYTHING I was giving my precious time to.

Before I share with you the conclusion, I want you to ask yourself this question-

WHAT TRUTH ARE YOU IGNORING? What truth is your soul WELL aware of, and just waiting for you to admit? What would you be PROUD to read about yourself?

Really think about that, because here’s what happened next.

I felt stuck. Then I felt sad. Then I started blaming OTHER things that were actually perfectly fine. Then I started noticing that I was snapping at my kids and resenting things like spilled coffee. And that’s really how you know you’ve gone way off course.

If spilling coffee causes you to wonder why bad things happen to good people, you need a change honey. Make no mistake. This was PAINFUL. A broad and flexible form of despair that made no sense to most everyone who knew me and who only saw the highlight reel.

So, I stopped. I still committed to my regular clients. But I stopped taking on new ones. I stopped answering the phone. I energetically shoved away anything that felt like a disruption in flow. I threw up a wall to anything that even remotely insulted my soul. And I realized that I had taken myself to ground zero.

I had basically, consciously dismantled a six-figure business. Courageous or insane?

Time will tell. But here’s what I know for sure.

You cannot outrun your truth. You may stay a few laps ahead of it for a while, but it will start whispering.

“Shhhh” you’ll say and go on with life. So, it will get louder, clawing at you, shouting, until you can’t ignore it anymore and suddenly you’re crying in public, getting insulted by random Facebook posts and considering your first tattoo. (Maybe that’s just me).

YOU HAVE TO BE WHOLE.

You see, I am a writer, yes, and I write awesome copy, content and brand strategy for small businesses and entrepreneurs.

AND.

I am a spiritual teacher. A motivational speaker. And a reluctant intuitive.

I am all those things. So, what did I finally figure out? (I thank you for your patience.)

Success is only possible and sustainable through SACRED INTEGRATION.

You need to feed ALL parts of your whole in order to be truly happy.

I needed to do the same. I needed to feed the part that was spiritual AND the part that was sexy. The part that was strategic AND mystical. The part that knows how to make money AND the part that can find the exact words to tune someone into their own HIGHER truth.

I am no longer able to do things that aren’t aligned with a HIGHER perspective. A HIGHER motivation. A HIGHER level of awareness.

I won’t get into some of the things I ran into in my industry that really had me questioning my faith in humanity, but I will say that I could no longer play a role in it, no matter how shiny and VIP-ish that role was.

I am a mermaid. No fear of depth and a great fear of shallow bullshit. You must be willing to leave the comfort of the surface to find the treasure in the deep.

And that’s how I came to the launch of my new company, HIGHER MEDIA GROUP, and its inaugural community, HIGH SOCIETY.

But this is not business as usual.

We are redefining what it means to be HIGH SOCIETY. Our mission is to be a home for people who are committed to living, working, earning, loving and thinking at a HIGHER level. For people who know that success is not measured in numbers alone, but in numbers AND peace.

We pencil in workouts. We pencil in meetings. We pencil in car-pooling commitments and committee obligations and a thousand other things. And we forget to pencil in PEACE.

You must pay attention to ALL Of your parts. You must pay attention to the part of you that straight up wants more money. And the part of you that appreciates a stunning work of art. And the part of you that longs to be comfortable in your sensuality. And the part of you that is ready to go deeper, to shine brighter, to RISE.

It ALL matters.

Please. Stop thinking that you’ll handle THIS problem once you’ve handled THAT one. Stop fragmenting your happiness. Stop feeling guilty for wanting more. Because the truth is, this is your time here. And it’s not infinite.

Integrate. Align.

And RECEIVE, RECEIVE, RECEIVE!

Let 2019 be the year you PAY ATTENTION. The year you finally realize that the clock is ticking and that there’s beauty everywhere and that you’re entitled to be a part of it.

With love,
Gina

P.S Thanks for reading.

If you’d like to be a part of the NEW High Society, I’ll be telling you how you can join after the first of the year. No velvet rope. No application required. No huge and unattainable price tag. If you want a discount code, just hit reply here and tell me one truth. One thing you can no longer ignore. One sacred agreement with yourself! I might not know you personally, but I love you. Because that’s how the new High Society rolls. Love and light and Happy Holidays!!!!

December 20, 2018
Spiritual gag order officially lifted

It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me.

But I have a good excuse.

My husband and I got a divorce and what followed was as spiritual gag order of sorts while I waded through the wreckage, while we both rebuilt a friendship with each other and laboriously (with the help of every kind of therapy under the sun) pieced life back together. (HUGELY grateful I have the kind of business that allows me the freedom to move through life however I need to!)

We are peaceful, thank God and I think we actually like each other more this way.

For us, the most loving thing to do was part ways amicably, eat pizza as a family once a week and continue to send each other good-natured, mildly insulting memes. It works for us.

This has simultaneously been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and the thing that opened the door to the most miracles. And it brought with it lessons that I hope every single one of you will embody.

Here they are, in random order:

1. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn how your intuition speaks to you and then follow that shit. Because it’s never wrong!

2. We learn by contrast. Pain is information that teaches you that what you currently have is the opposite of what your soul needs.

3. Know enough about your car to get by.

4. Buy the shoes.

Pull the blinds shut and don’t answer the phone.

Book the trip.

Hug your cat.

Let the kids stay up late.

Ask your soul what it needs moment to moment and do it. It might need a pilgrimage to a sacred place. It might need Netflix and Doritos. All equally valid.

5. Have a lawyer, an accountant, and a stylist you trust.

6. Have these friends: Ones who don’t care what you look like, ones who don’t care what your house looks like, ones who hug you while simultaneously telling you the tough truth you need to hear.

7. The fastest path to happiness is presence. Dwelling in the past is painful, dwelling in the future is pointless.

8. Realize that courage isn’t staying together for the kids, or enduring a job you hate. Courage is in being strong enough to want something that’s held together by more than your obligations and willingness to settle.

And luckily, once you’re through it, you finally understand that avoiding the pain was more painful than the reality of facing it.

9. Peace is a choice. Period.

And character is a summation of your habits. So, if you want to be a good person you must be habitually good no matter what is thrown at you or who’s in front of you. Decide what kind of person you are and then be that person. All the time. No matter what.

10. Whatever it is you know you need to do, be or have, the fastest way to get there is to be there.

11. Everyone is wounded. Everyone is connected by a universal human story. Lead with love and compassion and watch how much happier you get.

12. Practice discernment. Learn to beautifully balance following the flow with your non-negotiable boundaries.

13. Accept the fact that the most radical act of self-love you can perform is to say “no.” It won’t be popular. It will be worth it.

14. You can’t outrun your truth. You might stay a few laps ahead of it, but it will always claw its way to the surface. So save yourself time and heartache and EMBODY your truth. It’s the best way to find out what you’re made of and who belongs in your life.

Because life is short. And grace is Divine. And there is massive, blinding beauty in following your truth, in searching for the miracles underneath, and in opening to the experiences you can’t make sense of but are undoubtedly leading you to your destiny.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…

September 13, 2017
Some warm and fuzzy lessons for surviving 2017, because 2016 kinda sucked
Happy new year. No really. Happy. Freaking. New Year.

Why am I so adamantly in love with 2017? Because 2016 tested my spiritual resolve more than anything EVER has. It was, according to astrologers, a “transition year” not just for me, but for MANY people. The collective consciousness was CRAZY this year. I am sure you felt it. (A-hem, Trump induced nationwide Election insanity).

Uncertainty, massive fear, tests of strength, a call to arms for warrior courage.

Now that’s interesting, isn’t it? Fear and uncertainty, acting as a bridge to extraordinary change and courage. This year nearly did me in, and yet, it also brought me back to life.

So to that I say, F you 2016. F you, and THANK YOU. Without your bullying, without your ambush attacks on my soul, I might still be pretending, complying and squandering time on a life that was not in line with my deepest truths. So thanks 2016. You’re a pal. I consider you the brutally honest friend who’s not afraid to say, “Yes, you look fat in those jeans.”

Here are a few things I learned (not without blood, sweat and tears) and the things I plan to carry with me into this bright, sparkly, merciful new year. Feel free to steal.
- You can’t outrun your truth. You may stay a few laps ahead, but eventually it catches up. And if you don’t listen to it whispering, the whisper becomes a scream. And if you still don’t listen, the universe will implode your life in such a huge way that you cannot ignore it anymore. And spoiler alert— that’s not fun. Ask yourself, “Am I being patient or suffering in silence? Am I giving this situation time, or am I hiding behind a wall of fear, clinging fiercely to comfortable discontent?” The truth isn’t always pretty, but it’s always worth it.
- Forgiveness is not a betrayal of your pride. Peace is a choice. Sure, you have a RIGHT to be raging. Angry. Hurt. You also have a right to accept change, to throw love and compassion around, to choose the serenity of peace over the heaviness of resentment, to see everyone in your life as a spiritual teacher and be grateful for their presence, their lessons and yes, even their pain. Because you grew. You learned. It’s just that anger is really dense, so until you push it aside you won’t see the miracle behind it. And the miracle is breathtaking. Your only job is to assume that everything happening to you is for your highest good. So accept it. Trust. Choose peace. Move on.
- What’s best for you is best for the people you love. Period. Martyrdom makes you look older. So don’t do it. You help no one by abandoning yourself. In fact, you are actually f**king up EVERYONE when you do that. Because the people who look up to you (especially important if you have kids) will follow your lead. And if they see you abandoning yourself, settling for less, tolerating emptiness, they will adopt that as normal and do the same. Want that on your conscience? Me neither. Be your own advocate. Happiness is YOUR birth right too. At some point, you should learn that it’s not selfish to honor the callings of your own soul, regardless of who you feel obligated to. I heard Joel Osteen speak this year. He said, (CLEARLY speaking to me personally 😉 “You might be saying, ‘what if I hurt people with my choice?’ and to that I say, ‘what if you miss your destiny?’”
- Grace is when forgiveness, compassion and acceptance intersect. You can push against or flow with. Guess which one keeps you healthier? Now this is tricky, because grace and patience are very often mistaken by the faithless for weakness. But you and I know better. You and I know that grace is a high calling, reserved for the strong of heart. And it doesn’t hurt your karma either.
- The more you live by your truth, the more you will find that people you know and love have trouble relating to you. And that’s ok. Because you’re no longer living to please and conform. They are comfortable living that way and that works for them. It just won’t work for you anymore. It’s no biggie. Some people like sushi, some don’t. Don’t judge them for their unwillingness to see differently, and hopefully, they won’t judge you for an inability to be someone you’re not.
- Do something that scares you at least twice a year. Courage is an element of freedom. When you stretch yourself beyond what’s been true to this point in your life, things you didn’t know you had will be permanently unlocked. This year, I spoke on stage to 400 people. I also made a decision to permanently change my life in a HUGE way. Both of those things scared the shit out of me. And both raised me to a higher level of faith, empowerment and bad-assness.
- Darkness is nothing more than incubation. Sue Monk Kidd wrote a book called When the Heart Waits which became a bible for me this year. In it, she suggests that we not dramatize the dark night of the soul as something awful and gut wrenching, but rather take a lesson from nature. Caterpillars go into a dark cocoon to be reborn as butterflies. Babies stay in a dark womb until Divine timing tells them it’s time come forth as life-changing miracles. Why then, do we assume OUR dark seasons are anything BUT a blessed and natural incubation period? You aren’t stuck in darkness. You’re just incubating. Divine intervention is sometimes as quiet as a whisper and as slow as molasses, but it’s there. So just wait, with grace, until you are given the unmistakable green light that it’s time to be born again, stronger, more beautiful and in gorgeous technicolor.
- You can be compassionate without being responsible. This is tough for us do-gooders. Even tougher for us empaths. After all, we not only witness people’s pain, we FEEL it right along with them. So it’s EXTRA suck-ish when we are a PART of people’s pain because then we get to enjoy that cocktail blend of sadness AND guilt. Lucky us. But here’s what I know. You can feel a huge amount of compassion for someone else’s pain, for their journey, without accepting responsibility for it. You are only responsible for yourself, your choices. And they are only responsible for theirs. You cannot MAKE someone happy. You cannot MAKE someone change. You can only see them for who they are. A Divine being, just like you, doing the best they can with what they know. But there must be a line in the sand. There must be a point where you can say, “I SEE your pain, and I bless your pain, but I cannot CARRY your pain as my own.” Here’s where God gets good. When you finally stop carrying someone’s pain, guess what they have to do? They have to get stronger, build their muscles and carry it themselves. So when you hand it back to them, they have to finally SEE it and in many cases they will finally say to themselves, “Ohhhh, so THIS is what it looks like. Yeah, no thanks.” They will then, hopefully, make a choice to change because THEY don’t want to carry that shit either.
- Purpose is not one central focus that only super lucky people find. Purpose evolves as YOU evolve. Today, your purpose might be to care for a friend in need. Tomorrow your purpose might be to finally finish the damn book. Your purpose is not something you find after a long and treacherous journey, it’s something you choose moment to moment, every day, to give your whole heart to.
- Lead with love. Love the pain. Love the spirit assaulters. Love the tears. Love the possibilities. Love the painful growth. (It’s unlocking your destiny) Love the unanswered prayers. (They ARE being answered, you just don’t like how it looks yet.) Love it all. Leading with love is the fastest path to peace, to new beginnings and to miracles.
- And life is too damn short to settle for less than soul-shaking miracles.
Cheers to the new year.

Follow the flow. Hear the whispers. Honor your heart.

Truth looks HOT on you.
January 4, 2017