OMG, when does it get easy?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Just when you think things are going your way BAM! Something happens, big or small that shakes you to your core! (This is longer than usual, but it means so much to me so I hope you’ll read the whole thing. Five minutes tops!)

Have you ever heard yourself say:

“When does it get easy?”

“Why does it feel like I take 2 steps forward and 5 back?”

“When will life just ease up!??!”

I have felt this way SO many times over the last ten years. When my first business took off overnight, and then failed; when my marriage felt nearly over every other day; when I finally figured out what to do with my life and then found myself unexpectedly pregnant with my third child.

But these years of studying have shown me the answer, and once you hear it, your relationship to change will be forever altered, and as a result, your “OMG when does it get easier” days will be drastically reduced.

I have had a lot of major shifts but this was a biggie.

So here’s the deal. You don’t want life to ease up. You dont want things to stop changing because if they do, you’re probably dead!

Change, any change, from huge changes like a new home and a surprise baby to small changes like a canceled dinner date used to send me into “Why ME!?” anxiety.

But there’s what I learned.

Change is a privilege. Because it means you’re ALIVE.

Just like the clock is ALWAYS ticking and the weather is always moving and your heart is always beating… life is ALWAYS flowing.

Plot Twist!When you can learn to accept change, big or small, as a rhythm of life that is as natural and inevitable as the earth’s rotation, you stop being crippled by it. You embrace it. You yell “plot twist” and adjust your sails and move forward. Because the alternative to change is death.

Change is a blessing. Change challenges us to use our minds and our capacity for critical thinking and our ability to maintain our peace and composure. We were given survival instincts for a reason. We are built to respond, accept and conquer change. Step to the challenge like a warrior!

The next time life throws you a curve ball, just say a quiet “Thanks. Thanks for the reminder that I’m still breathing; that I’m still very much alive, and that I’m bold, resilient and powerful.”

There is always a miracle underneath a change. It requires some blind faith. Sometimes we don’t find out what the miracle was til years later. Sometimes we don’t find out at all. But change isn’t an exercise in KNOWING. It’s an exercise in growth and acceptance.

Are you ready? The BEST changes are the ones that YOU put into motion yourself. Get on the waiting list NOW for Soul Success 360. Doors are opening in a few weeks and with over 300 people already in the pre-course, we expect it to fill up FAST. To see if its right for you, hit reply, tell me what’s going on and we’ll  hash it out together.

Change- it does a body good 😉

“They” say this will hurt me

Ever wonder who in the heck “they” are? And why they talk so darn much?

they

All of my life I’ve been hearing from “them.” When I desperately wanted to pursue a career in the arts, I didn’t; because “they” say it’s tough to find a good job in that field.

When I wanted to wait awhile to get married because I didn’t feel quite ready, I got married anyway; because “they” say a good man is hard to find…and that the grass isn’t always greener… and that the biological clock was ticking.

And just last week, when I sent you a message about my free program and admitted that I was a little afraid to share it because it was so personal, I got more than one message from my community and from my peers telling me that I should have used a different subject line; because “they” say people in my industry should never show a weakness. It costs them clients.

But I say, sitting behind a wall, under a veil, refusing to be vulnerable would cost me something much more important–a connection to you.

I’m not perfect. I’ve undergone an incredible transformation and that journey was the catalyst for a successful business and work that I love.

But I’m still human. I still get scared. Words still sting. Feelings still swirl like tidal wave inside sometimes.

What’s different now is that I smash through that fear with action. And you know having it all - a free course! what? It works. The free program I offered had HUNDREDS of opt ins, one of our greatest responses to a free offering yet. And almost 100 of those people have joined the private master mind group on fb. (And are having major a-ha moments!)

There’s something beautiful about stepping into your power. You learn to follow the only voice that truly matters; the one that always has your back — your own.
So here’s my message for you today, short and sweet.

Forget what “they” say. Because “they”:

  • do not walk in your shoes,
  • haven’t dreamed your dreams,
  • can’t possibly understand the depths of your soul or the beauty of your truth,
  • wouldn’t know how to begin to understand your deepest desires…or your deepest fears,
  • would be amazed if they knew the lengths you would go to, to honor yourself and the vision that’s been placed in your heart!

So tell me, what have “they” said you couldn’t do? And who is ready to prove them wrong?

We won’t be opening the doors yet to private coaching for a few more weeks, but get your foot in the door! Tell me your deepest, juiciest, “keeping you up at night” desires! Tell me the plan, the passion, the calling,  the hotter than a blue flame fantasies.

Tell me. Telling me is the first step to transforming a wish list into a TO DO list! Be one of the brave ones. Raise your hand. Get what you want out of this life.

Here’s to being unstoppable

The One Thing Happy Women Know

You’ll want to read this one all they way to the end!

There are health coaches, sex coaches, business coaches, success coaches and probably coaches for just about anything you can google. But here’s the deal– if you get happy, all of those other things start to take care of themselves.

So how do you get happier? I’ve been blessed to speak with some of the happiest, most successful people on the planet and they all shared one common value (and it’s kinda tough to hear) :

Responsibility.

You’re cute and you probably could rock a glass slipper, but no prince charming is coming to save you. And you know what? That’s freaking fantastic. (To be clear, he may indeed walk in, but you will have already been saved.)
Price Charming

You have every bit of power you need to be your own hero, to write your own happy ending. To buy your own diamond ring (or house, or over-priced yoga clothes or whatever else it is that makes your mouth water.)

Happiness is not an exclusive club.

Everyone on earth, regardless of genetics, geography or circumstance has the opportunity to lead an expansive, amazing life. It’s truly a responsibility that you CHOOSE, with enthusiasm, to take on for yourself.

Successful WomanResponsibility says:

  • I hold the keys. I’m in the driver’s seat. I don’t have to wait, I can start now because the solution lies with me.
  • I am in charge of my peace and prosperity.
  • I am CEO of my life. I decide who stays, who goes, my company mission statement etc.

Blame is passive. Responsibility is productive.

Waiting is painful. Responsibility is empowering.

Victim-hood says “I can’t believe I suffered like this.” Responsibility says “My journey and my struggles have made me colorful, powerful and one of a kind.”

Sorrow is the belief that things are only getting worse. Responsibility asks “Where in this challenge is the opportunity to learn and grow?”

You can stay safe or you can soar.
You can keep your baseline or defy genetics

and circumstance and get what you want.

So after you read this, take stock of what parts of your life aren’t going the way you want them to. And just for a moment, imagine that you have everything you need to turn it around in your favor (because you do). What would you fix, change, release or expand?

Contact me or leave a comment and tell me. I’m happy to listen, happy to help, happy to celebrate with you once you’ve done it!

What freedom means to me

Happy 4th of July to those who celebrate! I am gearing up for a cookout at mom’s but I wanted to send you this quick note about “freedom.”

fireworks

 

My beautiful friend Lynn Bardowski, aka The Million Dollar Party Girl, asked me to explain in 2-3 sentences what freedom means to me. Here was my reply:

“For me, true freedom is finally owning
your truth, heeding those whispers

that come from within, those nudges that say,
“THIS is who you are and
what you are meant to do!”
If you can learn to hear your source,
and not only hear it, but follow its advice,
true freedom and all that comes with it –
joy, abundance, purpose –
naturally flow to you.
It’s about connecting to your unique
story,
embracing it, sharing it, casting out your gifts
with faith, enthusiasm and gratitude.
Time freedom and financial freedom
are a natural result of finding
and living your truth!”

(Read the replies from some other fabulous women entrepreneurs by clicking here.)

Your turn.

Is freedom having all the time in the world to pursue your passions? Is it working for yourself? Is it freeing yourself from the bonds and chains of an unhealthy relationship? Is it finally lifting the veil and showing the world who you really are? Is it the courage to tell your story?

Think about that today. As those of us in the U.S. celebrate our freedom, ask yourself what that word means to you. And recognize that you have the ability to be free in so many ways. Freedom from negative thinking, from sabotaging self talk. Freedom from darkness and uncertainty. Freedom from feeling “less than.”

What does freedom mean to you?

I would love to hear your answers. Just leave a comment below and lay it on me!

Have a fun, beautiful, juicy, restorative weekend!

Are you kinda like a cheap motel?

I’ll cut to the chase. (Because the baby is sleeping as I write this and I never know if he will sleep for one hour or five minutes! He likes to keep me guessing and on task.)

Are you running a cheap motel in a dark alley? Hear me out. We all feel like shit sometimes. For some of us it’s a fleeting emotion when something unpleasant takes us by surprise. For others, it’s a way of life that we just can’t seem to break out of.
cheap motel

 

I like to think of myself as a motel with about 20 rooms.

The rooms in your hotel are where your emotions and perceptions live. One for each room. One room for love, one for jealousy, one for joy etc. And no new emotions can come in until their is a vacancy or an expansion.

How many of your “rooms” are taken up by things like FEAR, RESENTMENT, BITTERNESS, SHAME, APATHY, ENVY, UNCERTAINTY. You see as long as the majority of your hotel rooms are occupied by negative things, you will not feel good and you won’t experience the joys of life.

You’ve got to evict the negative to make space for the positive.

What if your hotel was filled with dream guests?

Love, passion, purpose, success, joy, clarity, peace.

 

Luxury Resort

 

Accept what you cannot change, nurture and expand what you can. You are the hotel owner, the concierge, the housekeeping. You get to decide who stays and who goes. You get to design the environment and the customer (you) experience!

So will you run a cheap hotel with questionable guests or a luxury resort with only the best of the best?

You are not alone

Last week I posted this on my personal facebook page:

“What would feel like a miracle to you right now?
What one problem do you wish you had the answer to?”

What happened next amazed me. My inbox was FLOODED with messages from people I haven’t spoken to in years and from people I didn’t even know! So many people getting up, doing what they have to do with a smile on their face all the while privately struggling.

sadThey struggle with infertility.

They struggle with long held resentments between relatives.

They need more money.

They need a happier marriage.

They need their business to start working before it causes a divorce.

They just want to be happy.

My heart was so full; of gratitude that they trusted me with their most private longing; with empathy for their challenge; with hope for their peace.

You are not alone. Whatever you are struggling with, someone else is struggling with you. Someone is quietly praying for you. And someone else is willing to help.

Happiness is simple. People weigh their options against a million different factors (kids, money etc) But it’s so simple. The only litmus test you need is “does this feel good?” Period. Does the joy I get from this FAR outweigh the pain? If it doesn’t, choose differently. Its that simple. When you do what feels good FIRST, love, money and abundance will follow.

Joy is the PRE-REQUISITE to all of those other things you want.

I repeat. JOY must come first. The other blessings will follow. JOY readies the ground for growth and new life.

But you cannot stay silent. You cannot sit back and hope that something will fall into your lap and fix it all. You’ve got to ask. You’ve got to reach out. You’ve got to accept help. You’ve got to honor this one life you are given by doing whatever it takes to make it beautiful, passionate, JOYFUL.

So reach out. Tell me what you need me to help you with. Sparkle and shine! =)

What the Hell Do You Want?

I’ll keep it short. I’m feeling extra feisty today and here’s why: This weekend my mother called and said, “Get over here and go through these old boxes from college!”

box

I spent all day on a trip down memory lane; back to a time when my days were filled with creativity, art, dance and theatre classes; when my nights were filled with campfires and wine and my weekends were brimming over with passion, adventure and discovery.

It hit me. Hard. I love my life. But it’s missing a lot.

I haven’t picked up a paintbrush or taken a dance class in 15 years. If my life is great now, wouldn’t it be even BETTER if I welcomed back the muse; uncovered that young, vibrant artist that’s been buried by obligation and adulthood?

Are you going through your adult life without vital parts of your soul’s recipe? Are there layers of your love and light that you’ve left behind. And WHY?

You get one life. So get real with yourself. What the hell do you want out of this one life and why aren’t you moving mountains to get it while you still have time?

What will YOU do? What will you let back in? Happiness is about feeling good. Period. Doing things that feel good. Getting what you want out of life. So what do you want more of?

Embrace it. Own it. Shout it. GET it. Let me know if you want me to help you.

I’m awake now. And I have a plan for taking that young, creative, passionate, sexy girl and folding her right into the woman I am NOW. And I can’t wait to share it with you.

My confession and a good cry

Have you ever just needed a good cry? Even when things are going great, have you ever found yourself feeling absurdly emotional and wishing you could hide under the covers for a few days? Me too.

Monday, my youngest son turned 2. He is so full of love, always smiling and has blessed our lives more than words can say. But my confession is this — when I found out I was pregnant with him I wasn’t all that happy. Despite watching my sister-in-law go through the pain of infertility, when I saw that little plus sign on the pregnancy test, I felt nothing but panic.

 

pregnancy test

 

A third baby wasn’t in the plan. I had a business. People were counting on me. I had a life and travel plans and the older kids were at a fantastically self-sufficient age. I felt like quitting. I felt like hiding.

After about a month of self pity that I’m now ashamed of, I embraced the miracle. And when Levi splashed onto the scene on May 19th, 2012 our lives were forever changed by this tiny little powerhouse of love who is the best surprise I’ve ever received. Because of Levi, I slowed down. Because of Levi, I turned away from busy-ness and towards love. Because of Levi, I remembered that God knows what he’s doing; that it’s ok to be a bit more like water, flowing right over obstacles and flowing right with changes of direction, holding onto an unwavering faith that it’s all good.

Life changes. And I think I felt emotional this week because I am overwhelmed with gratitude: for all of the things I have been given and all of the things I was denied for my own good. Gratitude for friends who are always there, for work that I love, for a business that allows me the time freedom to nap with my baby and have lunch with my mom. But none of this would have been possible if I had STOPPED at the roadblocks. And I almost did.

What’s stopping YOU? Are you pushing against change that might be for your highest good? Where do you need to “let go and let God?” What do YOU want to be crying tears of JOY about one year from now?

 

Happy Tears

 

Look I am not like a lot of other coaches. When I ask you to reply to these emails, I really mean it, and I really read them. No matter how big this grows, I never want to lose sight of what made it possible- people, love, hope, action.

Time passes quickly. Go out and get your blessings. It costs nothing to hit reply and tell me what you need. It costs nothing to get on the phone and see if I can help you make a go of your dream. At least give yourself a chance.

Here is the birthday boy himself, looking handsome and smiling. Always smiling. =)

 

Levi

One Simple Step to Getting What You Want

You’ll want to read this one the whole way through! One question that a lot of people ask me is this: What was the game changer for you? What’s the most important thing you did to finally achieve success?

I used to say “Well, I decided what I wanted and I worked my butt off to get it.” But I realized that there was a deeper answer there, and it is this:

My number one, most important secret to success was finally eliminating my Plan B!

All my life, no matter what I was going after, I knew in the back of my head that if it didn’t work out, I could simply go back to __________ (fill in the blanks with whatever mindless, unfulfilling default setting you normally revert to.) And guess what? That’s usually where I ended up! Really think for a minute what kind of message that sends to the universe. Having a back-up plan says “I don’t really HAVE to succeed.” Plan B gives you an out. Plan B gives you the option to fail because within Plan B lies your comfort zone.

 

No Plan B for your business

 

Having one big vision, your plan A, and declaring it as a non-negotiable destination sets you up for success. Plan B says “if,” Plan A says “when.” When there is only one plan in your head, your energy is focused. When you refuse to entertain the thought that your big vision might not work you send a message that says, “I am doing this. No matter what. So help me out Universe.” And the amazing thing is, it does.

Is it risky? A little. But most things worth having are. Love is risky, but we fall into it anyway because the pay-off outweighs the risk of failure. The same is true for the life you want to lead. The risk is minuscule compared to the reward of living a life you’ve magically created yourself. Now I’m not saying to quit your job tomorrow. But perhaps you shift to an understanding that your current job is simply there to finance your Plan A?

That was the shift for me. I decided that this was it. And when a roadblock popped up, just like on my GPS, I didn’t change my destination, I just recalculated my course. Every time. Because when there’s nothing to fall back on, you stay standing.

Don’t waste any more time living in limbo. Life is meant to be savored, not full of frustration. Whatever your dream is, your big beautiful Plan A, we can make it happen.

I begged for my life

I have just come back from sunny San Diego and WOW what a ride! I was heading there to meet with my amazing Master Mind group and could not wait to see my sisters in success. But I was in no way prepared for the bumpy plane ride out to California.

About an hour before landing, everything went wrong. We encountered terrible, incredibly alarming turbulence that bumped the plane sideways, dropped us repeatedly, sent bags and snacks flying, made babies cry and caused the poor woman behind me to hyperventilate and scream in terror.

I am not exaggerating.

I bartered with God.

At that moment I honestly asked myself “If this plane doesn’t make it, do my children know how much I love them? Will the little one even remember me?” I have tears in my eyes typing this, it was THAT scary. But we made it. It got me thinking about how blessed I am to be living the life I set out to live. Are you?

If your plane started falling, what would you WISH you had done?

Whatever your answer is, please do it. And soak up every single second of breathtaking beauty and peace and fun and passion that comes when you step into your dreams and live with love as your compass.

And now that the heavy stuff is over, check out some pics from our master mind meeting.

My mastermind groupView from the doorPutting our heads together

What a glorious place to work. I had a blast with these fabulous, powerful, courageous women who are making things happen in their businesses. It was one heck of a slumber party! No, we didn’t do each other’s hair, but we DID talk strategies. (Many in this group are having 5 figure days!) We did chat about our men and our families and we definitely shared some delicious wine and decadent treats! We were also kept up all night by a barking seal outside our waterfront room.

Can’t say that’s ever happened to me before! =)