Gina Hussar

Category: Freedom

  • But…

    But…

    Yesterday I shared a post about how someone can be in love, but unprepared to care for that love.

    I’m blown away by how many people are experiencing this.

    Some relate and are heartbroken. Some think I’m terrible for suggesting we should leave anyone who isn’t perfect.

    So let’s talk about it…

    The reality is that someone can love you to the extent of their capacity and it still won’t be enough for you.

    Not because you’re expecting perfection but because you can hold something different, bigger, and deeper than they can even comprehend.

    It doesn’t make them wrong, it just makes them wrong for YOU.

    And here’s how that looks…

    You know that by ignoring your need for depth and connection you are betraying yourself…

    But you feel guilty because you can see that they love you as much as they’re capable of…

    You don’t want to abandon them and in that, you abandon yourself…

    So you spend months or years battling your own mind, your compassion and your truth in a war of words in your head that sounds like this…

    “But he is so good to me…”
    He can never reach your soul

    “But he’s a good man.”
    He is an unhealed man.

    “But I know deep down he wants to get better.”
    Your hope and his good intention will steal years from you.

    “But I can SEE how good this could be.”
    You are in love with a potential not a reality

    “But I can help her.”
    Not if she can’t help herself.

    “But I just want to keep the peace.”
    Whose peace are you keeping?

    “But this could be so much more…”
    But it isn’t.

    Your ability to see the higher version of something is an amazing gift.

    But you seeing it does not bring it into being.

    You wanting it does not make it real.

    Your patience is robbing you of the kind of love your soul requires.

    So what can you do?

    You can stay, you can wait, you can hope.

    Or you can accept them for who they are but bless them from behind a boundary.

    You can honor yourself enough to make space for equal love.

    You can show yourself the compassion and empathy you so willingly give to others.

    Ask yourself “What feels the most like SELF-respect here?” and whatever it is, do it.

    It will, as they say, break your heart but fix your vision.

    Because maybe you can see their soul and maybe you can feel their potential but honey if THEY can’t, you will always feel alone…

    You will always feel fractured…

    And you will always be thirsty. ❤

  • “Feed me, F*ck me and let me watch the game.”

    “Feed me, F*ck me and let me watch the game.”

    A few days ago, I wrote a post calling men and women to do the work we need to do to truly prepare for wholeness.

    It ruffled some feathers.

    I could write 100 more posts on this topic and probably will but here’s the comment that’s bothering me today. I’m paraphrasing from several comments, some from men, some from women, all with this message:

    “I read your post and it’s too deep. Men are simple. They don’t think that much. They definitely don’t feel that much. Feed me, f*ck me and let me watch the game- that’s all they want.”

    Bullshit. My inbox right now is filled with messages from awakening men sharing vulnerable stories of childhood trauma and the effect it has all had on their relationships.

    These are not weaklings. These are warriors. They are seeking wholeness. They are chasing down truth.

    And as one put it, they are “kung fu fighting these demons and WILL win!”

    The problem isn’t that men don’t feel. The problem is that we are still operating from archetypes prescribed by a society that has proven over and over again that it doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing.

    Men don’t think and women think too much and one is from mars and the other is from venus and one is a nag and the other is lazy when the truth is, most relationships struggle because they aren’t happening between two adults but between two wounded children walking around in adult bodies.

    We are more alike than we’ve been conditioned to think…we just express it differently.

    Here’s what I’ve found…

    Many men DO in fact want commitment. They value loyalty. They want to feel it all in their souls too they just can’t describe it that way.

    They want a woman who can hold them accountable and love them at the same time, without the silent treatment, the bitterness, the withholding. They are looking for the same partnership, the same depth, the same kind of compassionate witness for life that we are, they just don’t express that in the same way.

    But to suggest that men are simpletons who only think with their dicks and stomachs is not only archaic, but it diminishes the experiences of the men I know who are READY for more and who have ALSO walked through hell to get here.

    So can we please give men permission to admit that they feel? That they long for? That they wish? That they fear? That they hope?

    And when they do, may there be a woman on the other side who is embodied and whole enough to honor them for it, hold them through it and walk hand in hand with them out of the fire and into peace.

    Because that’s ultimately what we all want.

    To NOT think so much. To NOT have to fight to be heard and understood. To NOT have to figure things out over and over.

    What the men who commented might not even realize is that underneath their words of bravado is actually a prayer.

    When a man says “feed me, fuck me and let me watch the game” what I think he might be saying is…
    Be the woman who becomes my peace.

  • “What would you do if you were born three times as brave?”

    “What would you do if you were born three times as brave?”

    A message for my fellow people pleasers…

    I’m a recovering “good girl” people pleaser too.

    Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, after all, we all like to be liked.

    We all like to make other people happy. But I liked to take it to the extreme.

    An innocent comment of “you should really try…” and BOOM, I was shifting off course to try whatever it was.

    A casual “I really wish you wouldn’t…” and BAM! I would drop any dream I was carrying.

    As I look back, I realize how many opportunities I passed up on, relationships I stayed too long in, jobs I took, all because I was seeking approval.

    Things I didn’t post. Books I didn’t write, all because I was afraid of upsetting, afraid to rock the boat, afraid someone would see my power, my words, my selfie and say, “Who does she think she is?”

    You see we are taught to be humble. But too many of us misinterpret that as “stay small. Stay quiet. Stay hidden. And don’t for a minute celebrate yourself.”

    “Humble” is praised as a noble attribute. “Pride” is admonished as a trait of the shamefully arrogant. But have you ever read the dictionary definitions?

    Humble. (adj.)- Having a low estimate of one’s own importance.

    Proud. (adj.)- Feeling deep pleasure as a result of one’s own achievements.

    Let that sink in for a minute.

    I don’t know about you, but I’ll gladly choose being one proud mother f*cker over someone who underestimates my own importance in this world.

    CELEBRATE yourself.

    Celebrate your beauty and your wishes and your quirks and your weirdness. Celebrate the fact that you’re a mystic at heart, or an artist in your dreams or a lover of all things sacred.

    Celebrate the fact that you’re alive, and have something to say, and have deep desires buried in your heart that are valid and deserve to be lived out.

    Celebrate your selfie, because it takes COURAGE to get that intimate with yourself and then share it with the world.

    My 2022 goal? At least 100 “humble” people a week shaking their heads at me and saying, “Who does she think she is?” And at least 75% of them realizing they are massively inspired by it.

    I’ll take the hits. I’ll transmute that shit into magic faster than you can find the next thing to judge or be offended by.

    Because that’s what you do when you’ve had enough.

    That’s what you do when your soul is on fire.

    That’s what you do when it’s freaking TIME.

    So tell me how you’re brave.

    Tell me about how the muse has touched you and how life has tested you and how your soul has survived it.

    Tell me what makes you burn, what makes you whole, what makes you iconic.

    I read a quote that said, “I did not crawl through the shards of my own brokenness to live a mediocre life. I’ve prepared for magic.”

    Tell me how you’re magic.

    Tell me how you’re winning.

    Tell me who you are and what you’ve made and why you’re a goddamn GIANT! ❤

  • A MESSAGE FOR MEN….

    A MESSAGE FOR MEN….

    Gina Hussar

    I get a lot of random messages from strange men asking what turns me on.

    So, I thought I might just put it out there because I think I speak for a lot of women on this and I’m here to help.

    Do you want to know what turns me on? What makes me burn for you?

    What makes women like me breathless? What awakens every passionate instinct and unwraps every layer of fiery feminine sensuality?

    Go to freaking therapy.

    Do your work.

    Heal yourself.

    Lead yourself.

    Be brave enough to get uncomfortable for the sake of wholeness and depth.

    Be willing to build your emotional muscle so your arms are strong enough to hold the fire of an awakened woman.

    Be open enough to lean into a level of depth you’ve never experienced.

    Talk.

    Be humble enough to admit that you don’t know everything.

    Go deep.

    Get real.

    Stop hiding behind surface-level sex.

    Evolve.

    Confront what you need to confront so you can move forward without the shadow of your past.

    Stop thinking that vulnerability is weakness. It takes a GIANT of a wild man to get vulnerable and it’s HOT.

    Stop running from magic when it’s exactly what you need.

    Stop telling yourself she’s too much when the reality is you’re just afraid to be enough.

    Lead yourself so you can lead ME.

    Believe that you can handle it. Act accordingly.

    Be the safe space. The strong ground. The calm for her storm.

    Do this and you’ll find your Goddess. Do this and you’ll be taken to a place of wholeness and ecstasy you didn’t know existed and likely wouldn’t have found on your own.

    Do this… and you’ll be home.

    P.S. Girls- do the same or stop complaining. 😉

  • Will you be one of the few who leap?

    Today started out kind of…sucky. I awoke at 3 am to the sound of a dog barking which turned out to be my 2 year old fighting an alarming cough. I held him most of the night, woke up groggy, wondering where I would find the energy to get the other two kids dressed for school and then it happened — his diaper leaked and he threw up. At the same time.

    At this point you might be wondering why in the heck I am sharing this disgusting story with you. Here’s why.

    When that happened, my gut reaction (after the initial “OH MY GOD, GROSS!” reaction had passed) was actually GRATITUDE. Why?

    Because I had no where to go. I work from home. My company plan is in MY hands. I can reschedule clients if I need to and hold my baby til he feels better. I can work in my pajamas today if a shower and makeup just don’t happen. (And so far they haven’t.)

    It occurred to me as I looked over our team plan for the month that we are not launching Soul Success. I am not offering a program. I am offering something much bigger, much deeper. I am offering empowerment. Time freedom. Pajama laptop days.

    As I held my gross baby he looked up at me with his sweet brown eyes, full of big tears and his little red nose and I felt overwhelmed with love. “THIS is my reason,” I thought to myself. “THIS Is my ‘why’.” I do what I do so that I can be here when they need me, so that I don’t have to send them to daycare, so that I can take the middle one to see Disney on Ice and so that I can buy the oldest one his absurdly expensive basketball shoes.

    I wasn’t always able to do that. When I launched my company I had no money and no idea what I was doing. What I had was the desire to live differently, to never again feel “less than”, to be my own hero, and theirs. And I was willing to take a chance, to invest in my dream, to be temporarily uncomfortable for a permanent difference. I chose to leap. And to trust myself, knowing there is no greater power than that of a determined woman.

    And I honestly never thought to myself “what if this doesn’t work?” Asking that question sends a message to the universe that failure is an option. For me it’s not. And it doesn’t have to be for you either. The successful mindset doesn’t waste energy worrying that something might not work. The successful mindset DECIDES that it WILL work and then does whatever it takes to make that true.

    When I hired my first coach and joined my first program, I wasn’t joining because I was dying to learn the ins and outs of lead generation. I wasn’t buying email marketing training. I was buying mornings on the couch cozied up to my sick baby and afternoons volunteering at my kids’ school. I was buying my freedom from the shackles of need. I was buying the ability to say “Yes, if you read two Harry Potter books I WILL take you to Universal Studios.”

    At the end of the day, you are not motivated by logistics or group calls or bonus products. You are motivated by what moves you in your quiet moments, what wraps you in gratitude and what fills your heart with love.

  • What freedom means to me

    Happy 4th of July to those who celebrate! I am gearing up for a cookout at mom’s but I wanted to send you this quick note about “freedom.”

    fireworks

     

    My beautiful friend Lynn Bardowski, aka The Million Dollar Party Girl, asked me to explain in 2-3 sentences what freedom means to me. Here was my reply:

    “For me, true freedom is finally owning
    your truth, heeding those whispers
    that come from within, those nudges that say,
    “THIS is who you are and
    what you are meant to do!”
    If you can learn to hear your source,
    and not only hear it, but follow its advice,
    true freedom and all that comes with it –
    joy, abundance, purpose –     naturally flow to you.
    It’s about connecting to your unique     story,
    embracing it, sharing it, casting out your gifts
    with faith, enthusiasm and gratitude.
    Time freedom and financial freedom
    are a natural result of finding
    and living your truth!”

    (Read the replies from some other fabulous women entrepreneurs by clicking here.)

    Your turn.

    Is freedom having all the time in the world to pursue your passions? Is it working for yourself? Is it freeing yourself from the bonds and chains of an unhealthy relationship? Is it finally lifting the veil and showing the world who you really are? Is it the courage to tell your story?

    Think about that today. As those of us in the U.S. celebrate our freedom, ask yourself what that word means to you. And recognize that you have the ability to be free in so many ways. Freedom from negative thinking, from sabotaging self talk. Freedom from darkness and uncertainty. Freedom from feeling “less than.”

    What does freedom mean to you?

    I would love to hear your answers. Just leave a comment below and lay it on me!

    Have a fun, beautiful, juicy, restorative weekend!