If you’ve been with me awhile you’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of being naked. Not birthday suit naked. But VULNERABLE.
We know the importance of thinking positively and feeling grateful. But equally important is the willingness to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability gets a bad rep. People hear “vulnerable” and they think “weak, easily broken, victim.” But the word that stands out most to me in the official definition is “open.” It’s something we intuitively long to be. Our souls cry out for the right to be vulnerable yet safe. Loved. Accepted.
Your vulnerability, your humanness is what makes you real. It’s your most powerful tool for connecting with other human beings, with your partners and lovers, your children, your clients. There is nothing weak about a willingness to be open. Open to what? To everything. To pleasure, to pain, to opportunities to love, to criticism, to incredible abundance and growth. It takes far more courage and strength to OPEN yourself to it all but you have to if you want the goods.
When you resist being vulnerable, being open, you essentially close the door to intimacy. But a closed door is a closed door. True, pain doesn’t get in, but guess what, neither does love, neither does success, neither do raw and beautiful moments that make life worth living. Iyanla Vanzant says that Intimacy means In-To-Me-See. No one can see anything if your emotional front door keeps slamming shut. And if they can’t see in, they don’t actually know you. They don’t know what you’ve been through. They don’t know what you overcame. They don’t know the depths of your journey.
To reap the blessings of life, you’ve got to embrace all of the parts of your human experience. All of the heartache, the love, the gifts; all of the things that make you beautiful, flawed and real.
Because it’s in the space of that realness
that your soul will start pulling
everything you need right to you.
Baby step: Ask for what you need. Always. Let go of the fear of being told “no” and honor yourself by at least voicing your needs and desires. “I need you to hear me. I need to feel loved by you. I need five minutes alone because the kids were evil today.” Whatever it is-ASK for it.
Risk it all in the name of self-love. Because you deserve it.