Let’s face it. We’ve all got them in our lives.
The nay-sayers. The dream-stealers. Those who never have a positive word to say about anything. Ever.
Sure, they may be well meaning—and they may even claim that they only want to “protect you” or save you from something they fear will hurt you. But is their “concern” really warranted? Is it even valid?
Most dreamers would respond with a resounding NO!
After all, we are entrepreneurs, trailblazers, and we get fired up about new ideas and the endless possibilities for our lives. We love to explore new ways of being. We get excited about building relationships with other dreamers, and we’re inspired to push past the limitations that others just readily accept.
So why do these negative types feel so compelled to harsh our mellow? (I’ve always wanted to say “harsh our mellow” 😉
To answer that, we first need to understand the mindset of the limited thinker.
In most cases, the limited thinker is a chronic worrier or complainer who has never attempted to change their lot in life—and they are determined to drag you down to their level because that is all they know. They find it hard (if not impossible) to be supportive of your bright ideas, big goals and bold thinking because they’ve never experienced these for themselves. The truth of the matter is that they simply lack the insight to see beyond their own struggles.
But this does NOT have to become your problem!
Mark Twain had this to say about negative people:
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.”
In order to move confidently towards your dreams, you need to create the space for positive change to occur. Being in relationships with toxic people and allowing their negative energy into your life will only hold you back from manifesting opportunities for your success. You can love them, you just can’t allow yourself to be swayed by them. Conversely, when you release these dream-stealers from your life, you open up a space for positive people to enter. These are the ones who support your vision and will encourage you to pursue your dreams.
Follow these steps to rid yourself of toxic people.
Identify The Offenders
Toxic people have a knack for bringing your energy down.
They leave you doubting yourself and feeling drained.
Learn to spot the difference between someone who is sharing their struggles (healthy) and someone who constantly complains (unhealthy). Those who are genuinely struggling are willing to listen to constructive feedback and are open to change. On the other hand, complainers have no desire to change and are not receptive to feedback. They simply want you to feel sorry for them.
Toxic people delight in shooting down your ideas and questioning what you are trying to do. Usually they suffer from self-doubt, fear and insecurity—and they are simply projecting this on you. They love you, they worry about you, and their intentions aren’t malicious. Yet their very presence in your life can have a drastic effect on your success and perspective if you aren’t careful.
Let Them Go
There are several ways to do this. You can choose to ignore their calls or avoid being in places where you might bump into them. You don’t owe them an explanation for your behavior—unless you want to provide one. Usually, the negative person is not in the frame of mind to listen to what you have to say anyway, so save your breath-and your energy. When you do release them, do it with love. Tell them that you’d be willing to rekindle the relationship when they’re ready to be more positive and supportive. If a total release isn’t possible (the offender is your husband, mother, child etc.) simply build a force field of peace around yourself. Let them have their say, just don’t let it pass your force field. You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. It is possible to send them love and compassion, being completely cognizant that their limited vision is part of their journey, and simply not absorb the limiting energy. Force fields activated!
Stand Up For Your Dreams
You need to believe that you are worthy of achieving your goals—and becoming the person you want to be. Letting go of the nay-sayers will let you get there a lot faster. If you don’t let go of these relationships, you’ll be stuck in the same place, spinning your wheels and going nowhere. Ask yourself who in your life is supporting you and encouraging you. Spend as much time as you can with like-minded people. Hold on to your big vision and move forward with faith and courage. Your dreams will meet you there!