Have you ever just needed a good cry? Even when things are going great, have you ever found yourself feeling absurdly emotional and wishing you could hide under the covers for a few days? Me too.
Monday, my youngest son turned 2. He is so full of love, always smiling and has blessed our lives more than words can say. But my confession is this — when I found out I was pregnant with him I wasn’t all that happy. Despite watching my sister-in-law go through the pain of infertility, when I saw that little plus sign on the pregnancy test, I felt nothing but panic.
A third baby wasn’t in the plan. I had a business. People were counting on me. I had a life and travel plans and the older kids were at a fantastically self-sufficient age. I felt like quitting. I felt like hiding.
After about a month of self pity that I’m now ashamed of, I embraced the miracle. And when Levi splashed onto the scene on May 19th, 2012 our lives were forever changed by this tiny little powerhouse of love who is the best surprise I’ve ever received. Because of Levi, I slowed down. Because of Levi, I turned away from busy-ness and towards love. Because of Levi, I remembered that God knows what he’s doing; that it’s ok to be a bit more like water, flowing right over obstacles and flowing right with changes of direction, holding onto an unwavering faith that it’s all good.
Life changes. And I think I felt emotional this week because I am overwhelmed with gratitude: for all of the things I have been given and all of the things I was denied for my own good. Gratitude for friends who are always there, for work that I love, for a business that allows me the time freedom to nap with my baby and have lunch with my mom. But none of this would have been possible if I had STOPPED at the roadblocks. And I almost did.
What’s stopping YOU? Are you pushing against change that might be for your highest good? Where do you need to “let go and let God?” What do YOU want to be crying tears of JOY about one year from now?
Look I am not like a lot of other coaches. When I ask you to reply to these emails, I really mean it, and I really read them. No matter how big this grows, I never want to lose sight of what made it possible- people, love, hope, action.
Time passes quickly. Go out and get your blessings. It costs nothing to hit reply and tell me what you need. It costs nothing to get on the phone and see if I can help you make a go of your dream. At least give yourself a chance.
Here is the birthday boy himself, looking handsome and smiling. Always smiling. =)
