Archive for Success

I completely flipped out. Not proud of it.

Louie

So we got a new puppy. His name is Louie. This is him. Handsome isn’t he?

I love this puppy WAY more than I wanted to, but he has (are you ready?) a stomach virus that is causing him to have several bouts of diarrhea a day. (I promise you there is a point here).

So here’s a breakdown of what happened today:

Louie had no less than 5 accidents in the house. I continually had to tell my clients to hold on so I could try to rush him outside and not surprisingly, I failed 4 of those 5 times and spent much of my day shampooing carpets with one hand and holding the phone in the other trying to do the work I was scheduled to do.

Then: my oldest came home ill with a fever (and an attitude), my middle one couldn’t find her dance shoes, we were late for everything, rushing out the door, then I hear the baby yelling, “Moooom, Louie pooped in the family room!”, so I go back in and my purse hooks on a FULL bottle of root beer which spills its ENTIRE contents all over my laptop and the kitchen floor.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE!??! Then I, just for dramatic flair, raise my arms and look to the sky and say, “WHAT!?! WHAT LESSON AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS? JUST TELL ME BECAUSE I’M NOT HEARING YOU!”

And no shit, clear as day, a voice in my head said, “The lesson is you’ve got a long way to go baby.”

It actually made me laugh, but it also made me realize three REALLY important things that I wanted to share with you:

  1. Gratitude isn’t just a buzz word. And on this crappiest of days, my day was still better than my dear friend who is mourning the loss of her child. And the people who lost everything in the earthquake in Italy. And many, many other people who aren’t as blessed as I am. I am reminded of a quote I read then, “Don’t forget to be grateful to God for what you DO have. After all he didn’t forget to wake you up today.” Regardless of what you believe or what God you worship, it’s a solid reminder to be grateful.
  2. Mastery is a journey. My goal is to stay on the path to what I call “user friendly enlightenment.” Enlightenment for real chicks like me who live in a real world, like wine and who don’t have time to juice things every day or visit ashrams in India. So when the universe whispered to me, “You’ve got a long way to go baby,” I like to think it was a pat on the back for my effort AND a reminder that there is no destination, only an unwavering commitment to keep RE-committing to peace and self-awareness no matter what.
  3. Mind your “ish.” My friends and I have a running joke. “ish.” We love that suffix as it allows us to be vague and noncommittal without being all out negative. One of us says, “How was your day?” and we are totally allowed to reply, “Great….ish.” But I got to thinking about the ish and how many people I know who are happy-ISH. Successful-ISH. They are so close to being all the way, but their ish holds them back. Take time to think about your ish. What needs to shift for you to release it and REALLY be in an enviable state of bliss? For me, I realized today that I am only happy-ISH because I am a bit out of alignment. I was being pulled in a million directions, received some reminders about some things I need to release in my business, was reminded that I have been neglecting my body etc. That ish, for me, is a lack of self-care. If I can set boundaries in business, set goals in fitness and set standards for friendships, set schedules for the kids that don’t put me in a rush etc, then my ish will fade away. (or it will change form.) The point is, ish’s will always pop up. Ask yourself if you have an ish and then NAME It. Figure it out. Release it!

Are you happy-ISH in a relationship that’s ok but not WOWING you?

Are you successful-ish in a business that makes money but steals your soul?

I am declaring today that I will be more mindful of what my body, mind and soul are begging for in an effort to banish that suffix and lean into total glowy-ness. (Thank you for witnessing.)

Get grateful. Stay the course. Mind the ish.

You’ve come a long way too baby. Keep going.

Quickies are awesome

Real quick – I’ve had the privilege this year of working with some of the folks who are enjoying the kind of life that most of the world admires. I was asked yesterday in an interview what I’ve noticed about successful people. I wanted to share my answer with you because I think it’s important! Here, in random order are a few universal traits of highly
successful, happy, fulfilled people!

  1. They make quick decisions.

Successful people don’t waste time debating. This has worked wonders for me, too. If I’m offered a great opportunity, I take it and then figure out the details later!

  1. Successful people are able to make fast decisions because they know their North Star.

They know their goals. They know what they are moving towards. So they are able to spot which decisions will get help them get there and which are a waste of time. Suzanne Evans is always saying, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.”

3. They watch their mouths.

Successful people mind their language. They don’t allow themselves to speak in negativity. They don’t use words that suggest lack or hardship. HUGE shift for me. When I stopped saying, “I can’t afford that,” my bank account grew. I don’t think there is anything that is out of reach. I don’t say “I can’t afford it,” I say, ‘Ok I want this, so what do I have
to do, create or sell to get it!”

  1. They have fun.

Fun is a PRIORITY. I see way too many entrepreneurs trying to run a “freedom business” but checking their email 24/7, getting annoyed if people don’t answer them immediately, stressing about the perfect this, the perfect that. Have fun people. It makes you more interesting.

  1. They are compassionate. The string of scandals with high powered people lately (hello Jared from Subway) are proof that karma is a bitch no matter who you are. Successful people are decent. They give a shit. They understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. They give gifts to their assistant’s kids and they open the doors for people.

6. They honor their dreams, no matter how weird or seemingly off course.

That’s why Reese Witherspoon has a clothing site and several Oscar winning actors are in rock bands. Do what the hell you want to do in this life.

7. They wake up early and meditate.

It’s huge.

8. They have coaches of all kinds.

Spiritual coaches. Business coaches. Astrology coaches. Because successful people know the importance of trying something new and the importance of ALWAYS learning.

  1. They eat well and exercise all the time.

I’m still working on this one. Love donuts, love wine, hate running. In fact, if you see me running you should run too because there is probably something chasing me.

OK, so maybe that wasn’t a quickie but I hope you are satisfied. 😉 These work! Try to incorporate some of these into YOUR daily life and mindset.

Gotta run. Coffee’s done!

To your new kick ass success mindset.

Success truths no one talks about at parties

I know its been a long time since I wrote a really personal note but the truth is, I was busy being “successful”. Yes, there is a hint of sarcasm there. Let me explain. (It’s long but worth the read!)

I want to talk about a few success truths that no one shines a light on. You get the emails just like I do. So and so is singing the praises of a freedom biz with a stock image of a laptop propped up on someone’s legs as they lounge at the beach.

But here’s the truth:

My business has TRIPLED in the last six months and my ass is no where near the beach!

I am beyond grateful that I get to do what I love and do it on my own schedule, and the whole “laptop lifestyle” is DEFINITELY my thing. But I found that as I expanded, a whole new set of challenges presented itself. I’ve been quiet, because you’ve gotta watch what you complain about! But now I realize that it’s important to speak up about some of this. I want to share a bullet pointed list of things no one talks about and truths I have learned over the last few months:

  1. Big business isn’t for everyone. You are bombarded with emails about how to get your business to 6 or 7 figures. And while I do have clients that have reached those marks, those numbers by no means define success. And as I start to see six figures on the horizon, I also see the massively longer to-do list that will come with it. Success is defined by how happy and balanced and aligned you feel on a day to day basis. If you make an extra $2 grand a month and you’re happy with that, you’re successful. (Bonus truth- you can find out who your real friends by changing your life and finding success. The ones that are happy, rather than threatened or envious, are the ones you should keep.)

  2. Business, period, isn’t for everyone. The media has done a great job of making us feel like we are “less than”if we aren’t embarking on an Eat, Pray, Love pilgrimage and creating some kind of purpose that either makes us millions or inspires a documentary. Entrepreneurship is definitely for me. But if it’s not for you, that’s ok. If you can show up at your BEST by working for  someone else and coming home and being fully present for your loved ones, that is EXTRAORDINARY. Your purpose is not something you go out and find, it is something you DECIDE. And if you decide that your purpose is to be a source of light and a kind smile for everyone you walk by, you WILL change the world, one passing pedestrian at a time.

  3. I learned that I am a bit of a commitment phobic. I’m lucky. I don’t advertise, I don’t even have a new site up yet and my client list is at overflow just from referrals. But as each new unsolicited inquiry came in, rather than feeling celebratory, I felt a little panic. “Oh my gosh. I am becoming KNOWN for a certain thing.” My chest felt a little tight. I felt the box being built up around me. Am I OK only doing this one type of work forever? I took a breath, of course, and got over it, but consider this: the very thing you are striving to build may in fact work out tremendously well. It is at that point that you have to decide if it still aligns with your values and vision. For me it did, but I had to get through that panic mode first. I had to get through the whole cereal box to get to the prize at the bottom and then I had to decide if that prize was worth keeping. It is of course, but I will probably take that prize and customize it a bit. Paint it. bedazzle it, and make it my own. After all, I can only be boxed in if I stand still. =)

4. With expansion comes the need for a whole new set of boundaries. I LOVE my clients. And I totally get that their businesses are their babies. And I get SO involved with them (mentally) that I don’t just want to work on their projects, I want to move into their houses with them and help them take care of their babies. Their success means that much to me and I LOVE what I do. But I also love sitting on my couch with a kid under each arm and one at my feet while Spongebob plays non stop on the DVR. I love BOTH of those things. And I am big believer that there shouldn’t be a separation of work and life. They should blend seamlessly together as they are both integral parts of what my friend and colleague Cindia Carrere calls our “abundance pie.” The trick is, making sure that one piece of your pie doesn’t start getting all of the attention.

With business expansion, comes a whole lot more that needs you. And because I care SO much, I have to be really careful about my boundaries or I WILL be up at 3am answering client emails and my kids WILL pay for it when 7am comes and I am the grouchy mom who doesn’t feel like making breakfast. I sat with my team and we worked it out and going forward, we will not be doing private life coaching and will be focusing on business, brand alignment and copy only. And rather than having a ton of clients that are with us indefinitely, we will be focusing on the Biz in a Box VIP Experience. You, me, your dream biz, all worked out, built out and packaged up all pretty over the span of just one month. (Details coming soon!) So basically, we are going against the grain in terms of what most people do. My goal isn’t to leverage my time by serving 500 people on group calls. My goal is to serve WAY less than that, but do it in the most value packed, customized, warm and fuzzy way.

In the Miracle Project, I teach a lot about non-negotiables. Defining how you want to feel and how you want to live and then ONLY saying yes to things that support those non-negotiable values. Some of the things that are really important to me, like chatting with you by email, got lost on the climb up the mountain. Last summer was my summer of bliss. I did a whole LOT of lounging with my kids and drinking wine by the fire with my friends. This summer, with the surge of expansion, I spent most of it indoors on my computer. (Because truthfully you can’t really see the laptop screen on the beach.) So we will be re-working some things here to make sure that the summer of 2016 is as it should be – a hot, blissful three months of nothing pressing to do! Your work should blend in with your life. The pieces of your abundance pie should not fight for your attention.

  1. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. I have been blessed with amazing opportunities over the last few months. In addition to running my own biz, I’ve joined the coaching team of Rich German and Milana Leshinsky to help people in their JV Insider Circle group. I have had the pleasure of working with people I respect tremendously like Bret Gregory, Tera Maxwell and Shanda Sumpter just to name a few. But I also realized that just because an opportunity is awesome, doesn’t mean it belongs in my pie. It’s ok to say no. You don’t have to feel like you’re missing out on anything. If the “no” comes from an effort to balance, and not from a place of fear, you’re ok. If you end up not opening a door, odds are, it wasn’t your door. (Click to tweet that. 😉
  2. Don’t let what you don’t have hold you back. I currently don’t really have a website. (I have one, but it’s ANCIENT and doesn’t all speak about the work that makes up 95% of my income). So I am living proof that you don’t NEED a fancy site to make money. You just need to do what you love and do it well enough that people talk about it. So if you are WAITING to start your biz because you don’t think you have everything you need, let me tell you the truth. All you need is passion, commitment and consistency to get started.

So there you have it. Go at your own pace. Stop listening to 6 and 7 figure bullshit. If that’s your goal, great, but if it isn’t that’s great too. And if it takes you more than three years to get there, also fine. And if you want to offer things that most of the marketers say you can’t, do it anyway. At the end of the day, the goal should be a life and business that feels aligned with your heart. When you get to a point, where all of the pieces of your life – your kids, your work, your partner, your health – are all shouting “Me! Me! Look over here! Look at me. No look at ME! I asked first!” you need to take a breath, re-visit your non-negotiables and come back to center.

I’m getting there. I realize that it might take me some time to catch up with expansion and find the flow, but for now, I’m good and just sharing this with you has removed my momentary desire to erase all traces of myself from the internet and just go make sea-shell jewelry in Bali. I do this work for a reason. Because I see the brilliance in you. I see the value in your ideas. And I don’t want you to just live life on auto-pilot. Don’t just go through life. Jump on it’s back. Tackle it to the ground. Make it love you. (Click to tweet that 😉

If you’ve got a dream that won’t stop tapping you on the shoulder I’d love to hear about it. And if you can wait three weeks til my kids go back to school, I’ll help you make it happen.

To expansion, balance, truth and dreams.