Archive for Happiness

Is Hollywood Ruining Our Relationships?

It was about eight years ago on a quiet fall evening. I had been married for a few years and my two young children had uncharacteristically gone to bed at the same time and without drama. If you’re a woman with a child, a job or any other kind of time-eating, energy-draining list of responsibilities you know that beautiful feeling of finally sitting down with a glass of pinot and a fashion mag. I opened up to a quiz that said “How to Tell If You Have Found Your Prince Charming.” I read through the questions. Does he make you feel like a princess? Does he surprise you with romantic gifts and last minute get-aways? Is he more like Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Matthew McConaughey? As I’m reading, the The Notebook is on the TV. It’s the kissing in the rain scene and Ryan Gosling is doing it very well. I look over to see my (now ex-) husband watching some kind of YouTube nonsense on his laptop. He’s laughing, cookie crumbs on the desk in front of him and he’s wearing a shirt that says “If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my underwear.” True story…

Read the rest of this article on the Huffington Post!

I completely flipped out. Not proud of it.

Louie

So we got a new puppy. His name is Louie. This is him. Handsome isn’t he?

I love this puppy WAY more than I wanted to, but he has (are you ready?) a stomach virus that is causing him to have several bouts of diarrhea a day. (I promise you there is a point here).

So here’s a breakdown of what happened today:

Louie had no less than 5 accidents in the house. I continually had to tell my clients to hold on so I could try to rush him outside and not surprisingly, I failed 4 of those 5 times and spent much of my day shampooing carpets with one hand and holding the phone in the other trying to do the work I was scheduled to do.

Then: my oldest came home ill with a fever (and an attitude), my middle one couldn’t find her dance shoes, we were late for everything, rushing out the door, then I hear the baby yelling, “Moooom, Louie pooped in the family room!”, so I go back in and my purse hooks on a FULL bottle of root beer which spills its ENTIRE contents all over my laptop and the kitchen floor.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE!??! Then I, just for dramatic flair, raise my arms and look to the sky and say, “WHAT!?! WHAT LESSON AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS? JUST TELL ME BECAUSE I’M NOT HEARING YOU!”

And no shit, clear as day, a voice in my head said, “The lesson is you’ve got a long way to go baby.”

It actually made me laugh, but it also made me realize three REALLY important things that I wanted to share with you:

  1. Gratitude isn’t just a buzz word. And on this crappiest of days, my day was still better than my dear friend who is mourning the loss of her child. And the people who lost everything in the earthquake in Italy. And many, many other people who aren’t as blessed as I am. I am reminded of a quote I read then, “Don’t forget to be grateful to God for what you DO have. After all he didn’t forget to wake you up today.” Regardless of what you believe or what God you worship, it’s a solid reminder to be grateful.
  2. Mastery is a journey. My goal is to stay on the path to what I call “user friendly enlightenment.” Enlightenment for real chicks like me who live in a real world, like wine and who don’t have time to juice things every day or visit ashrams in India. So when the universe whispered to me, “You’ve got a long way to go baby,” I like to think it was a pat on the back for my effort AND a reminder that there is no destination, only an unwavering commitment to keep RE-committing to peace and self-awareness no matter what.
  3. Mind your “ish.” My friends and I have a running joke. “ish.” We love that suffix as it allows us to be vague and noncommittal without being all out negative. One of us says, “How was your day?” and we are totally allowed to reply, “Great….ish.” But I got to thinking about the ish and how many people I know who are happy-ISH. Successful-ISH. They are so close to being all the way, but their ish holds them back. Take time to think about your ish. What needs to shift for you to release it and REALLY be in an enviable state of bliss? For me, I realized today that I am only happy-ISH because I am a bit out of alignment. I was being pulled in a million directions, received some reminders about some things I need to release in my business, was reminded that I have been neglecting my body etc. That ish, for me, is a lack of self-care. If I can set boundaries in business, set goals in fitness and set standards for friendships, set schedules for the kids that don’t put me in a rush etc, then my ish will fade away. (or it will change form.) The point is, ish’s will always pop up. Ask yourself if you have an ish and then NAME It. Figure it out. Release it!

Are you happy-ISH in a relationship that’s ok but not WOWING you?

Are you successful-ish in a business that makes money but steals your soul?

I am declaring today that I will be more mindful of what my body, mind and soul are begging for in an effort to banish that suffix and lean into total glowy-ness. (Thank you for witnessing.)

Get grateful. Stay the course. Mind the ish.

You’ve come a long way too baby. Keep going.

Quickies are awesome

Real quick – I’ve had the privilege this year of working with some of the folks who are enjoying the kind of life that most of the world admires. I was asked yesterday in an interview what I’ve noticed about successful people. I wanted to share my answer with you because I think it’s important! Here, in random order are a few universal traits of highly
successful, happy, fulfilled people!

  1. They make quick decisions.

Successful people don’t waste time debating. This has worked wonders for me, too. If I’m offered a great opportunity, I take it and then figure out the details later!

  1. Successful people are able to make fast decisions because they know their North Star.

They know their goals. They know what they are moving towards. So they are able to spot which decisions will get help them get there and which are a waste of time. Suzanne Evans is always saying, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.”

3. They watch their mouths.

Successful people mind their language. They don’t allow themselves to speak in negativity. They don’t use words that suggest lack or hardship. HUGE shift for me. When I stopped saying, “I can’t afford that,” my bank account grew. I don’t think there is anything that is out of reach. I don’t say “I can’t afford it,” I say, ‘Ok I want this, so what do I have
to do, create or sell to get it!”

  1. They have fun.

Fun is a PRIORITY. I see way too many entrepreneurs trying to run a “freedom business” but checking their email 24/7, getting annoyed if people don’t answer them immediately, stressing about the perfect this, the perfect that. Have fun people. It makes you more interesting.

  1. They are compassionate. The string of scandals with high powered people lately (hello Jared from Subway) are proof that karma is a bitch no matter who you are. Successful people are decent. They give a shit. They understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. They give gifts to their assistant’s kids and they open the doors for people.

6. They honor their dreams, no matter how weird or seemingly off course.

That’s why Reese Witherspoon has a clothing site and several Oscar winning actors are in rock bands. Do what the hell you want to do in this life.

7. They wake up early and meditate.

It’s huge.

8. They have coaches of all kinds.

Spiritual coaches. Business coaches. Astrology coaches. Because successful people know the importance of trying something new and the importance of ALWAYS learning.

  1. They eat well and exercise all the time.

I’m still working on this one. Love donuts, love wine, hate running. In fact, if you see me running you should run too because there is probably something chasing me.

OK, so maybe that wasn’t a quickie but I hope you are satisfied. 😉 These work! Try to incorporate some of these into YOUR daily life and mindset.

Gotta run. Coffee’s done!

To your new kick ass success mindset.

Popular UNtruths

I know that what I am about to write will be really unpopular with some people. I might even get a few email unsubscribes, but I am willing to take that chance because I believe in what I am saying and I believe in your right to live how you want to live.

There is this massive trend among top experts telling you the following UNtruths (I wont say lies):

  • That if you want material things you aren’t spiritual.
  • That if you aren’t absolutely content with what you have now, you aren’t spiritual.
  • That if you care how you look you aren’t spiritual.
  • That if you regularly watch The Kardashians,  shame on you

Here’s the truth- Of course your happiness shouldn’t DEPEND on material things. Of course you should always find something to be grateful for and when you do, peace and love and abundance find you.

And of course, your hair shouldn’t be the most important thing on your to do list.

BUT…

Happiness is about what makes you feel good. Period. 

I’m a girly girl. I spend stupid amounts of money on make up. I also pray and meditate daily.

Anything that makes you feel good, that gets you laughing, that makes you smile, sets the spirit of love and the law of attraction in motion.

When you are happy, you glow. You light up the way for everyone around you. And it doesn’t matter if that glow came from a deep, meditative experience or a luxury face cream that makes you feel like a million bucks.

Happy is happy.

So yes. Learn how to process life in a way that serves you. Learn how to master your mind and stay grateful.

BUT know what happiness means to YOU. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT! Shout it! Claim it! And in the spirit of ONE life, in the name of the clock ticking, for the love of all things awesome GO OUT AND GET IT!

Life should feel like this! Happy women friends

Can I get a hell yes!??! (For real, leave a comment and let me hear it!) 

And don’t forget to grab your free Miracles course!!!!

You are not alone

Last week I posted this on my personal facebook page:

“What would feel like a miracle to you right now?
What one problem do you wish you had the answer to?”

What happened next amazed me. My inbox was FLOODED with messages from people I haven’t spoken to in years and from people I didn’t even know! So many people getting up, doing what they have to do with a smile on their face all the while privately struggling.

sadThey struggle with infertility.

They struggle with long held resentments between relatives.

They need more money.

They need a happier marriage.

They need their business to start working before it causes a divorce.

They just want to be happy.

My heart was so full; of gratitude that they trusted me with their most private longing; with empathy for their challenge; with hope for their peace.

You are not alone. Whatever you are struggling with, someone else is struggling with you. Someone is quietly praying for you. And someone else is willing to help.

Happiness is simple. People weigh their options against a million different factors (kids, money etc) But it’s so simple. The only litmus test you need is “does this feel good?” Period. Does the joy I get from this FAR outweigh the pain? If it doesn’t, choose differently. Its that simple. When you do what feels good FIRST, love, money and abundance will follow.

Joy is the PRE-REQUISITE to all of those other things you want.

I repeat. JOY must come first. The other blessings will follow. JOY readies the ground for growth and new life.

But you cannot stay silent. You cannot sit back and hope that something will fall into your lap and fix it all. You’ve got to ask. You’ve got to reach out. You’ve got to accept help. You’ve got to honor this one life you are given by doing whatever it takes to make it beautiful, passionate, JOYFUL.

So reach out. Tell me what you need me to help you with. Sparkle and shine! =)