Archive for Finding your calling

Some warm and fuzzy lessons for surviving 2017, because 2016 kinda sucked

Happy new year. No really. Happy. Freaking. New Year.

Why am I so adamantly in love with 2017? Because 2016 tested my spiritual resolve more than anything EVER has. It was, according to astrologers, a “transition year” not just for me, but for MANY people. The collective consciousness was CRAZY this year. I am sure you felt it. (A-hem, Trump induced nationwide Election insanity).

Uncertainty, massive fear, tests of strength, a call to arms for warrior courage.

Now that’s interesting, isn’t it? Fear and uncertainty, acting as a bridge to extraordinary change and courage. This year nearly did me in, and yet, it also brought me back to life.

So to that I say, F you 2016. F you, and THANK YOU. Without your bullying, without your ambush attacks on my soul, I might still be pretending, complying and squandering time on a life that was not in line with my deepest truths. So thanks 2016. You’re a pal. I consider you the brutally honest friend who’s not afraid to say, “Yes, you look fat in those jeans.”

Here are a few things I learned (not without blood, sweat and tears) and the things I plan to carry with me into this bright, sparkly, merciful new year. Feel free to steal.

some warm and fuzzy lessons for surviving 2017

  • You can’t outrun your truth. You may stay a few laps ahead, but eventually it catches up. And if you don’t listen to it whispering, the whisper becomes a scream. And if you still don’t listen, the universe will implode your life in such a huge way that you cannot ignore it anymore. And spoiler alert— that’s not fun. Ask yourself, “Am I being patient or suffering in silence? Am I giving this situation time, or am I hiding behind a wall of fear, clinging fiercely to comfortable discontent?” The truth isn’t always pretty, but it’s always worth it.
  • Forgiveness is not a betrayal of your pride. Peace is a choice. Sure, you have a RIGHT to be raging. Angry. Hurt. You also have a right to accept change, to throw love and compassion around, to choose the serenity of peace over the heaviness of resentment, to see everyone in your life as a spiritual teacher and be grateful for their presence, their lessons and yes, even their pain. Because you grew. You learned. It’s just that anger is really dense, so until you push it aside you won’t see the miracle behind it. And the miracle is breathtaking. Your only job is to assume that everything happening to you is for your highest good. So accept it. Trust. Choose peace. Move on.
  • What’s best for you is best for the people you love. Period. Martyrdom makes you look older. So don’t do it. You help no one by abandoning yourself. In fact, you are actually f**king up EVERYONE when you do that. Because the people who look up to you (especially important if you have kids) will follow your lead. And if they see you abandoning yourself, settling for less, tolerating emptiness, they will adopt that as normal and do the same. Want that on your conscience? Me neither. Be your own advocate. Happiness is YOUR birth right too. At some point, you should learn that it’s not selfish to honor the callings of your own soul, regardless of who you feel obligated to. I heard Joel Osteen speak this year. He said, (CLEARLY speaking to me personally 😉 “You might be saying, ‘what if I hurt people with my choice?’ and to that I say, ‘what if you miss your destiny?’”
  • Grace is when forgiveness, compassion and acceptance intersect. You can push against or flow with. Guess which one keeps you healthier? Now this is tricky, because grace and patience are very often mistaken by the faithless for weakness. But you and I know better. You and I know that grace is a high calling, reserved for the strong of heart. And it doesn’t hurt your karma either.
  • The more you live by your truth, the more you will find that people you know and love have trouble relating to you. And that’s ok. Because you’re no longer living to please and conform. They are comfortable living that way and that works for them. It just won’t work for you anymore. It’s no biggie. Some people like sushi, some don’t. Don’t judge them for their unwillingness to see differently, and hopefully, they won’t judge you for an inability to be someone you’re not.
  • Do something that scares you at least twice a year. Courage is an element of freedom. When you stretch yourself beyond what’s been true to this point in your life, things you didn’t know you had will be permanently unlocked. This year, I spoke on stage to 400 people. I also made a decision to permanently change my life in a HUGE way. Both of those things scared the shit out of me. And both raised me to a higher level of faith, empowerment and bad-assness.
  • Darkness is nothing more than incubation. Sue Monk Kidd wrote a book called When the Heart Waits which became a bible for me this year. In it, she suggests that we not dramatize the dark night of the soul as something awful and gut wrenching, but rather take a lesson from nature. Caterpillars go into a dark cocoon to be reborn as butterflies. Babies stay in a dark womb until Divine timing tells them it’s time come forth as life-changing miracles. Why then, do we assume OUR dark seasons are anything BUT a blessed and natural incubation period? You aren’t stuck in darkness. You’re just incubating. Divine intervention is sometimes as quiet as a whisper and as slow as molasses, but it’s there. So just wait, with grace, until you are given the unmistakable green light that it’s time to be born again, stronger, more beautiful and in gorgeous technicolor.
  • You can be compassionate without being responsible. This is tough for us do-gooders. Even tougher for us empaths. After all, we not only witness people’s pain, we FEEL it right along with them. So it’s EXTRA suck-ish when we are a PART of people’s pain because then we get to enjoy that cocktail blend of sadness AND guilt. Lucky us. But here’s what I know. You can feel a huge amount of compassion for someone else’s pain, for their journey, without accepting responsibility for it. You are only responsible for yourself, your choices. And they are only responsible for theirs. You cannot MAKE someone happy. You cannot MAKE someone change. You can only see them for who they are. A Divine being, just like you, doing the best they can with what they know. But there must be a line in the sand.  There must be a point where you can say, “I SEE your pain, and I bless your pain, but I cannot CARRY your pain as my own.” Here’s where God gets good. When you finally stop carrying someone’s pain, guess what they have to do? They have to get stronger, build their muscles and carry it themselves. So when you hand it back to them, they have to finally SEE it and in many cases they will finally say to themselves, “Ohhhh, so THIS is what it looks like. Yeah, no thanks.” They will then, hopefully, make a choice to change because THEY don’t want to carry that shit either.
  • Purpose is not one central focus that only super lucky people find. Purpose evolves as YOU evolve. Today, your purpose might be to care for a friend in need. Tomorrow your purpose might be to finally finish the damn book. Your purpose is not something you find after a long and treacherous journey, it’s something you choose moment to moment, every day, to give your whole heart to.
  • Lead with love. Love the pain. Love the spirit assaulters. Love the tears. Love the possibilities. Love the painful growth. (It’s unlocking your destiny) Love the unanswered prayers. (They ARE being answered, you just don’t like how it looks yet.) Love it all. Leading with love is the fastest path to peace, to new beginnings and to miracles.
  • And life is too damn short to settle for less than soul-shaking miracles.

Cheers to the new year.

Follow the flow. Hear the whispers. Honor your heart.

Truth looks HOT on you.

I hope this blows your mind!

It’s inspired bad movies, good movies, epic novels and more than a few mid-life crisis jaunts around the world.
 It was the focus of my own misery for more than a decade.
It can fool even the smartest people into thinking that their life is less meaningful, less whole than it ought to be.
What am I talking about? PURPOSE.
What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with my life? 
Where is my life going?
Those are questions that downright HAUNT a good portion of the population. After all, thanks to Disney and other well-intended fairy tales we are programmed to believe that we have one destiny, one purpose on this earth and that if we don’t find it, well hell, we missed the boat and any prayer of happiness.
To that I say….. bullshit!
Don’t get me wrong. I fell for that myself for a very long time. And I was miserable because I tried everything under the sun and nothing clicked. I just couldn’t figure it out and I felt like a failure. And when you’re in that space, doesn’t it seem like you have a heightened awareness of how sure everyone ELSE seems about it all? (Curse you Facebook newsfeed!)
Then it hit me. What was making me miserable wasn’t the lack of a single purpose, but the endless journey, the endless questioning.
It was never a lack of answers that made me unhappy it was my endless quest for them. Always needing to see the future rather than leaning into the present. If I had only known that moving gracefully through moment by present moment WAS the answer to the universal question.
Ask any parent who’s child has just been diagnosed with an illness and they will tell you that their life’s purpose at that moment is to love and care for their child with unwavering commitment and fierce determination.

Ask the Olympic athlete and their life purpose is to reach their maximum potential for physical fitness and the highest level of achievement. But after that they better be able to change their life purpose or they are faced with the reality that they are washed up at 15! (This is what happens when former child stars, now addicts, never realized that their purpose could evolve!)

Let me make life easier for you and abolish the question once and for all. Ask me what your purpose is and I will tell you that you don’t have ONE.
No one has just ONE purpose. Life is fluid. Purpose must be fluid. Your purpose will expand and change shape in direct proportion to your life expanding and changing shape.
And thank God for that!
Stop asking “what is my purpose” and ask instead “what is my purpose TODAY? What is my purpose at this moment?”
Your purpose might be to serve your clients fully today. And tomorrow your purpose might be to take care of the child who is home sick from school. And the day after your purpose might be to finally finish that chapter in your book.
Your purpose, today, every day, each moment is simply this:
Your purpose is to stay present to what each moments asks of you.
That’s it. And as you stay present, the steps are revealed, the questions are answered and you find, magically, that you are LIVING your destiny.
Destiny and purpose are not a place you have to pilgrimage to get to. They are right here right now. They are the JOURNEY. They are not something you find, but something you recognize in each moment and choose to respond to.
Now doesn’t that take the pressure off? So please stop buying programs trying to figure out what your purpose is.
My hope for you is that your life is so full and so dynamic that you will have had a thousand purposes by the end of it. That’s magic. That’s flow. THAT is living!

These words blew my mind!

Every once in a while I come across a quote that totally wakes me up!

I want you to read this quote from Pastor Mark Batterson:

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”

Think about that for a moment. No really. Read it again. Think about it.

How many times have you had a thought, an INSPIRED thought that you were really excited about until the internal gremlins I like to call Mr. and Mrs. Yeah But started running their mouths?

It goes something like this:

I would really love to write this book. But I have never even taken a writing class.

I would love to own my business, but I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.

I know I am meant to change the world, but what can I do from my small town?

That idea that keeps whispering from you? It’s not FROM you. It’s from Source. From the universe. From God. And it’s whispered to you because you are meant to explore its riches. But we think that we must somehow be “qualified” for own destiny. For our OWN destiny?

Doesn’t that just sound nuts when you think about it? You don’t have to be qualified to have that blonde hair you’ve got, or those brown eyes, or that tendency to chew on your pencil. Those things are uniquely you. So what makes you think you have to be qualified for your own unique destiny. You were PRE-QUALIFIED at birth.

So you don’t need to wait. You don’t need to be a few years older. You don’t need more money or a certificate hanging on the wall.

If you are CALLED to do something, God has qualified you to do it.

So I’m curious. What’s been whispering to you? What are you going to do now that you know you already have the Divine credentials? Leave a comment below and tell me! (For real!)

More money, more love. And pictures

I’ve noticed a pattern over the last year. My Facebook inbox is increasingly full, and often the messages I get are from women who have noticed a huge change in me. I get messages that say “How do you do it all?!?” and “You are SO different than you were a few years ago” and very often, “I wish I could change my life like you have.”

Now that the doors to the 6 Month Miracle Project are just about open, I wanted to share with you the massive changes that have happened for me. It’s my miracle in pictures.

My Money Story-

For YEARS I struggled. I laid awake at nights worrying about money. I felt embarrassed that I wasn’t doing well and I had more than one business take an embarrassing dive. But then I created the two miracles that would shift that forever: the miracles of Abundance and Responsibility.

Since I learned that miracle formula, I have built a business that brought in more money in 6 months than I had made in TEN years. I became an author. I took a 5 star trip to Texas with my mom and my brother. Our first ever! I travel several times a year to beautiful California (I had never even been on a plane alone!) and I am hanging out with people whose books are on my shelf! How? MIRACLES.

On the beach in San Diego

On the beach in San Diego
With miracle partner dawn Berube

With Miracle partner Dawn Berube
A solo trip to the beach with my babies

A solo trip to the beach with my babiesmage
With my mom and brother in beautiful Texas!

With my mom and brother in beautiful Texas!
With Noah St. John and his wife Babette.

With Noah St. John and his wife Babette.

My Love Story- Here’s the truth. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. For 9 of those I was empty. Resentful. Disconnected. But then I learned the Miracles of Positive Processing and Living GreatFully. I was able to release YEARS of blame and anger. I was able to learn to how to stay in peace, how to lead with love, how to extract the gold underneath the dirt! And the best part? I had this guy:

Baby Levi
who turned into this guy.

And he rounded out my three musketeers,

3 Musketeers
who, by the way, are the happiest, silliest kids I know, and are very much enjoying their happy, present mommy!


Silly Happy Mommy

My Soul Story- When I take a look back at those years of pain and uncertainty I want to hold that girl in my arms and tell her, “Don’t you see? You have everything you need. You have divinity in your blood. You’re ok already. You’re already powerful!” I will never forget the day that I knelt in a church, sobbing hysterically, asking God why he wasn’t listening to me. But then I learned the Miracles of Source and Divinity. And now? I feel so…. gosh its tough to put into words… whole.


I understand now what it means to have God-given power. I spend time drinking that in, basking in the warmth of this Universal energy and power that we ALL have at our fingertips. I give myself TLC.

I connect to my femininity. I do what makes me happy.

I savor my morning coffee, I hug my babies a lot and I spend time with girls.


And my smile reaches my eyes. And I commit to bliss and laughter and love. And I cannot believe how lucky I am to have this life.


If there is any part of you that doesn’t feel whole, any part of you that knows on a soul deep level that something is missing, start your journey to making miracles. I so badly want this for you. Because I know it works.

Have a heart to heart with yourself

There is a quest that is as old as time. The greatest heroes who ever lived set out on this quest. We grow up learning about these brave men and women who followed the whispers of their soul and  set off on this most noble of journeys. What am I talking about?


If you read last week’s post “What’s Screaming At You?”, you know how I feel about this. Not everyone is called to lead a nation, or a movement or a rock band. Some of us have quieter purposes. Make no mistake about this! Even if your purpose never lands you on the front page of the paper or in the history books, you are changing lives.

When we are living a life aligned with our purpose we change the lives of others. It’s just true. It just happens. Sometimes it happens in a huge, loud, newsworthy way and sometimes it happens through the smile of a child or the sigh of relief of a dear friend.

Some people are meant to write Pulitzer Prize winning novels. Others are meant to take care of children, or to deliver impeccable customer service that leaves people smiling.

How do you know what your purpose is? Here are my top 10 questions you can ask yourself to inch just a bit closer to your soul’s mission in this life:

  1. What do people always come to me for?
  2. What drives me absolutely insane?
  3. What makes me angry?
  4. What tugs at my heart strings?
  5. For whom do I feel overwhelming compassion?
  6. What would I battle for? What am I willing to really stand up for?
  7. What do I know for sure? If someone challenged my position on this, I could, with 100% confidence and certainty argue my point about this.
  8. What do I never get tired of talking about or doing?
  9. What could I honestly write a book about?
  10. When I was struggling, what or who do I wish had existed? What would have helped me?

I would love to hear your answers! Contact me and share!

Here’s to self discovery.

One Simple Step to Getting What You Want

You’ll want to read this one the whole way through! One question that a lot of people ask me is this: What was the game changer for you? What’s the most important thing you did to finally achieve success?

I used to say “Well, I decided what I wanted and I worked my butt off to get it.” But I realized that there was a deeper answer there, and it is this:

My number one, most important secret to success was finally eliminating my Plan B!

All my life, no matter what I was going after, I knew in the back of my head that if it didn’t work out, I could simply go back to __________ (fill in the blanks with whatever mindless, unfulfilling default setting you normally revert to.) And guess what? That’s usually where I ended up! Really think for a minute what kind of message that sends to the universe. Having a back-up plan says “I don’t really HAVE to succeed.” Plan B gives you an out. Plan B gives you the option to fail because within Plan B lies your comfort zone.


No Plan B for your business


Having one big vision, your plan A, and declaring it as a non-negotiable destination sets you up for success. Plan B says “if,” Plan A says “when.” When there is only one plan in your head, your energy is focused. When you refuse to entertain the thought that your big vision might not work you send a message that says, “I am doing this. No matter what. So help me out Universe.” And the amazing thing is, it does.

Is it risky? A little. But most things worth having are. Love is risky, but we fall into it anyway because the pay-off outweighs the risk of failure. The same is true for the life you want to lead. The risk is minuscule compared to the reward of living a life you’ve magically created yourself. Now I’m not saying to quit your job tomorrow. But perhaps you shift to an understanding that your current job is simply there to finance your Plan A?

That was the shift for me. I decided that this was it. And when a roadblock popped up, just like on my GPS, I didn’t change my destination, I just recalculated my course. Every time. Because when there’s nothing to fall back on, you stay standing.

Don’t waste any more time living in limbo. Life is meant to be savored, not full of frustration. Whatever your dream is, your big beautiful Plan A, we can make it happen.