Archive for Building a Business

Dreams, Deals and Bullsh*t

Ever get emails that sound like this?

“This will never happen again at this price!”

“This is the ONLY WAY to get happy and rich!”

“In just six weeks, your life will be exactly what you want it to be!”

Or they have a tone like this:

“Here’s a shot of my mansion in this luxury city and you don’t have one yet because you’ve never worked with me.”

or

My life is amazing because I am my own boss and you’re unhappy because you’re not.”

So much of it is complete crap! And the first week of January is LOADED with emails like these. (Gotta capitalize on all that resolution stuff right?)

You want the truth? Here’s the truth.

I can’t blame them, as our business mentors teach us that we are supposed to represent the “after” of the before and after scenario.

Have I made great money doing what I love? Yep.

Did I navigate a horrendous personal situation and come out the other side with a completely transformed spirit and a peace and resilience NO one thought was possible? Yep.

Do I enjoy a pretty great reality that allowed me to take yesterday off and spend the day with my honey, and a day off last week to drink chardonnay at noon with my friends? Yes.

But I’m not the after honey.

I’m the middle. There is no AFTER.

Living a great life- a life of bliss and beauty and love and purpose and abundance, has nothing to do with reaching a concrete milestone.

Write the book. Make six figures. Meet the man. Lose the weight. Those are all great goals. Great dreams. But I can promise you they are NOT the end. They are not the “after.”

The “good” life comes from one thing and one thing only – ALIGNMENT. Daily, consistent commitment to alignment.

The dictionary defines alignment as “an agreement or alliance.” What alignment is to us is an agreement and alliance between our soul and our reality. A contract between our hearts and our daily lives. A commitment to attuning our truth to our choices.

Listen I’ve published a best-selling book on amazon. I’ve made the six figures. I’ve spoken on the stages and met the celebrities. Did ANY of it permanently enhance my daily experience of life? No.

What finally DID? Alignment. Making sure I knew exactly what my non-negotiable feelings and values were.

I want to feel: Love, Light, Creativity, Connection, Significance, Freedom, Abundance.

Free time, money, love, creativity, purpose, connection to spirit, connection to family and friends.

Those are the things I will not negotiate on. I have actually lost clients who didn’t like the fact that my team and I don’t work weekends. I didn’t sweat it, because there’s always another client and my weekends with my family are NOT on the negotiation table.

She offered me a LOT of money on monthly retainer, but basically, I would have to be at her beck and call. No thanks. Because I knew what would happen. I would be cranky as hell, resenting her, resenting the work, and not doing a very good job because of it. We would BOTH lose.

One of my colleagues recently said to me, “I have worked SO hard to fill my program that my wife honestly threatened to leave me.” Um.. ok. The whole point to selling your program was so you could spend MORE time with your wife, so how does it make sense to work SO hard at it that she might not be there at the end? That’s some major misalignment and a sure fire fast track to disaster and regret!

With every decision I make, I ask myself this question:

Is this decision in alignment with my non-negotiables? Does it keep me feeling how I want to feel and having what I want to have?

If it doesn’t, it’s a no. No matter how scary or painful it might be to walk away from, it’s far more painful to be out of alignment with your soul, breaking contract with your heart and suffering massive spirit fatigue because of it.

I can promise you that your truth will not mislead you and you will find yourself living the life you imagined.

But it doesn’t happen in the AFTER, it happens in the middle. What the after actually is, is the peace of living in flow and alignment on a DAILY basis. It’s not a destination you reach, it’s a way of life you commit to.

So, what are your non-negotiables? How do you want to feel? And are your choices in alignment? Are you honoring the contract between your reality and your soul?

If not, this is the year to do it ok?

I’m with you.

 

*********

Something special for my fellow heart-centered entrepreneurs. Are you are pushing, striving, not sleeping, not enjoying your business, frustrated, overwhelmed and working too hard for too little in return? You are out of alignment honey!

Would love to work with you in a private Align and Define VIP session. “Freedom business” can feel like a big fat joke if you are chained to your computer and STILL can’t get a client. Freedom comes from flow and flow comes from alignment. Period. Read more here and let’s get you on the calendar and set up for a much easier 2018!

 

Success truths no one talks about at parties

I know its been a long time since I wrote a really personal note but the truth is, I was busy being “successful”. Yes, there is a hint of sarcasm there. Let me explain. (It’s long but worth the read!)

I want to talk about a few success truths that no one shines a light on. You get the emails just like I do. So and so is singing the praises of a freedom biz with a stock image of a laptop propped up on someone’s legs as they lounge at the beach.

But here’s the truth:

My business has TRIPLED in the last six months and my ass is no where near the beach!

I am beyond grateful that I get to do what I love and do it on my own schedule, and the whole “laptop lifestyle” is DEFINITELY my thing. But I found that as I expanded, a whole new set of challenges presented itself. I’ve been quiet, because you’ve gotta watch what you complain about! But now I realize that it’s important to speak up about some of this. I want to share a bullet pointed list of things no one talks about and truths I have learned over the last few months:

  1. Big business isn’t for everyone. You are bombarded with emails about how to get your business to 6 or 7 figures. And while I do have clients that have reached those marks, those numbers by no means define success. And as I start to see six figures on the horizon, I also see the massively longer to-do list that will come with it. Success is defined by how happy and balanced and aligned you feel on a day to day basis. If you make an extra $2 grand a month and you’re happy with that, you’re successful. (Bonus truth- you can find out who your real friends by changing your life and finding success. The ones that are happy, rather than threatened or envious, are the ones you should keep.)

  2. Business, period, isn’t for everyone. The media has done a great job of making us feel like we are “less than”if we aren’t embarking on an Eat, Pray, Love pilgrimage and creating some kind of purpose that either makes us millions or inspires a documentary. Entrepreneurship is definitely for me. But if it’s not for you, that’s ok. If you can show up at your BEST by working for  someone else and coming home and being fully present for your loved ones, that is EXTRAORDINARY. Your purpose is not something you go out and find, it is something you DECIDE. And if you decide that your purpose is to be a source of light and a kind smile for everyone you walk by, you WILL change the world, one passing pedestrian at a time.

  3. I learned that I am a bit of a commitment phobic. I’m lucky. I don’t advertise, I don’t even have a new site up yet and my client list is at overflow just from referrals. But as each new unsolicited inquiry came in, rather than feeling celebratory, I felt a little panic. “Oh my gosh. I am becoming KNOWN for a certain thing.” My chest felt a little tight. I felt the box being built up around me. Am I OK only doing this one type of work forever? I took a breath, of course, and got over it, but consider this: the very thing you are striving to build may in fact work out tremendously well. It is at that point that you have to decide if it still aligns with your values and vision. For me it did, but I had to get through that panic mode first. I had to get through the whole cereal box to get to the prize at the bottom and then I had to decide if that prize was worth keeping. It is of course, but I will probably take that prize and customize it a bit. Paint it. bedazzle it, and make it my own. After all, I can only be boxed in if I stand still. =)

4. With expansion comes the need for a whole new set of boundaries. I LOVE my clients. And I totally get that their businesses are their babies. And I get SO involved with them (mentally) that I don’t just want to work on their projects, I want to move into their houses with them and help them take care of their babies. Their success means that much to me and I LOVE what I do. But I also love sitting on my couch with a kid under each arm and one at my feet while Spongebob plays non stop on the DVR. I love BOTH of those things. And I am big believer that there shouldn’t be a separation of work and life. They should blend seamlessly together as they are both integral parts of what my friend and colleague Cindia Carrere calls our “abundance pie.” The trick is, making sure that one piece of your pie doesn’t start getting all of the attention.

With business expansion, comes a whole lot more that needs you. And because I care SO much, I have to be really careful about my boundaries or I WILL be up at 3am answering client emails and my kids WILL pay for it when 7am comes and I am the grouchy mom who doesn’t feel like making breakfast. I sat with my team and we worked it out and going forward, we will not be doing private life coaching and will be focusing on business, brand alignment and copy only. And rather than having a ton of clients that are with us indefinitely, we will be focusing on the Biz in a Box VIP Experience. You, me, your dream biz, all worked out, built out and packaged up all pretty over the span of just one month. (Details coming soon!) So basically, we are going against the grain in terms of what most people do. My goal isn’t to leverage my time by serving 500 people on group calls. My goal is to serve WAY less than that, but do it in the most value packed, customized, warm and fuzzy way.

In the Miracle Project, I teach a lot about non-negotiables. Defining how you want to feel and how you want to live and then ONLY saying yes to things that support those non-negotiable values. Some of the things that are really important to me, like chatting with you by email, got lost on the climb up the mountain. Last summer was my summer of bliss. I did a whole LOT of lounging with my kids and drinking wine by the fire with my friends. This summer, with the surge of expansion, I spent most of it indoors on my computer. (Because truthfully you can’t really see the laptop screen on the beach.) So we will be re-working some things here to make sure that the summer of 2016 is as it should be – a hot, blissful three months of nothing pressing to do! Your work should blend in with your life. The pieces of your abundance pie should not fight for your attention.

  1. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. I have been blessed with amazing opportunities over the last few months. In addition to running my own biz, I’ve joined the coaching team of Rich German and Milana Leshinsky to help people in their JV Insider Circle group. I have had the pleasure of working with people I respect tremendously like Bret Gregory, Tera Maxwell and Shanda Sumpter just to name a few. But I also realized that just because an opportunity is awesome, doesn’t mean it belongs in my pie. It’s ok to say no. You don’t have to feel like you’re missing out on anything. If the “no” comes from an effort to balance, and not from a place of fear, you’re ok. If you end up not opening a door, odds are, it wasn’t your door. (Click to tweet that. 😉
  2. Don’t let what you don’t have hold you back. I currently don’t really have a website. (I have one, but it’s ANCIENT and doesn’t all speak about the work that makes up 95% of my income). So I am living proof that you don’t NEED a fancy site to make money. You just need to do what you love and do it well enough that people talk about it. So if you are WAITING to start your biz because you don’t think you have everything you need, let me tell you the truth. All you need is passion, commitment and consistency to get started.

So there you have it. Go at your own pace. Stop listening to 6 and 7 figure bullshit. If that’s your goal, great, but if it isn’t that’s great too. And if it takes you more than three years to get there, also fine. And if you want to offer things that most of the marketers say you can’t, do it anyway. At the end of the day, the goal should be a life and business that feels aligned with your heart. When you get to a point, where all of the pieces of your life – your kids, your work, your partner, your health – are all shouting “Me! Me! Look over here! Look at me. No look at ME! I asked first!” you need to take a breath, re-visit your non-negotiables and come back to center.

I’m getting there. I realize that it might take me some time to catch up with expansion and find the flow, but for now, I’m good and just sharing this with you has removed my momentary desire to erase all traces of myself from the internet and just go make sea-shell jewelry in Bali. I do this work for a reason. Because I see the brilliance in you. I see the value in your ideas. And I don’t want you to just live life on auto-pilot. Don’t just go through life. Jump on it’s back. Tackle it to the ground. Make it love you. (Click to tweet that 😉

If you’ve got a dream that won’t stop tapping you on the shoulder I’d love to hear about it. And if you can wait three weeks til my kids go back to school, I’ll help you make it happen.

To expansion, balance, truth and dreams.

Will you be one of the few who leap?

Today started out kind of…sucky. I awoke at 3 am to the sound of a dog barking which turned out to be my 2 year old fighting an alarming cough. I held him most of the night, woke up groggy, wondering where I would find the energy to get the other two kids dressed for school and then it happened — his diaper leaked and he threw up. At the same time.

At this point you might be wondering why in the heck I am sharing this disgusting story with you. Here’s why.

When that happened, my gut reaction (after the initial “OH MY GOD, GROSS!” reaction had passed) was actually GRATITUDE. Why?

Because I had no where to go. I work from home. My company plan is in MY hands. I can reschedule clients if I need to and hold my baby til he feels better. I can work in my pajamas today if a shower and makeup just don’t happen. (And so far they haven’t.)

It occurred to me as I looked over our team plan for the month that we are not launching Soul Success. I am not offering a program. I am offering something much bigger, much deeper. I am offering empowerment. Time freedom. Pajama laptop days.

As I held my gross baby he looked up at me with his sweet brown eyes, full of big tears and his little red nose and I felt overwhelmed with love. “THIS is my reason,” I thought to myself. “THIS Is my ‘why’.” I do what I do so that I can be here when they need me, so that I don’t have to send them to daycare, so that I can take the middle one to see Disney on Ice and so that I can buy the oldest one his absurdly expensive basketball shoes.

I wasn’t always able to do that. When I launched my company I had no money and no idea what I was doing. What I had was the desire to live differently, to never again feel “less than”, to be my own hero, and theirs. And I was willing to take a chance, to invest in my dream, to be temporarily uncomfortable for a permanent difference. I chose to leap. And to trust myself, knowing there is no greater power than that of a determined woman.

And I honestly never thought to myself “what if this doesn’t work?” Asking that question sends a message to the universe that failure is an option. For me it’s not. And it doesn’t have to be for you either. The successful mindset doesn’t waste energy worrying that something might not work. The successful mindset DECIDES that it WILL work and then does whatever it takes to make that true.

When I hired my first coach and joined my first program, I wasn’t joining because I was dying to learn the ins and outs of lead generation. I wasn’t buying email marketing training. I was buying mornings on the couch cozied up to my sick baby and afternoons volunteering at my kids’ school. I was buying my freedom from the shackles of need. I was buying the ability to say “Yes, if you read two Harry Potter books I WILL take you to Universal Studios.”

At the end of the day, you are not motivated by logistics or group calls or bonus products. You are motivated by what moves you in your quiet moments, what wraps you in gratitude and what fills your heart with love.

Don’t wait another year!

Tell me if you can relate to this story. I attended a workshop this weekend with some amazing women, all looking to recharge their business dreams. At one point, I was approached by a woman who said she would give ANYTHING to work from home and be able to make money and spend more time with her kids. She had tears in her eyes and I could feel the passion in her words. But then it started. The excuses.

“But I have no money and no connections.”

“But starting a business just isn’t in my budget.
I can barely take my kids out for pizza.”

“But I have no time to launch anything.
There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Look I get it. This was SO me a few years ago. But I got over my own bullshit and I took action.

The Dalai Lama himself said that the world will be saved by western women. But we can’t save anything if we are small and hidden.

Don’t you see? The reasons you say you CAN’T are the very reasons that you MUST.

If you don’t have the money NOW, you’ve got to find your money breakdown and learn how to FIX it so that it’s no longer a problem. If you don’t have the time right now, you need to learn how to become CEO of your life and master time management.

I will repeat – the reasons you say you can’t
are the very reasons you MUST…

When you make a choice to leap, you are also making the choice to do EVERYTHING in your power to make it work. Success becomes non-negotiable. Plan A is IT. Eliminating your plan B keeps you accountable. When you have nothing to fall back on, you stay standing and keep going. And the time has never been better.

Here are three things you need to seriously think about:

  1. A college education doesn’t guarantee a job anymore, and a “job” doesn’t guarantee anything!

  2. Setting up a business no longer requires a six figure sum. The internet has made it easy peasy for just about anyone to set up shop and get started for very little money.

  3. The United Nations Telecommunications Agency says that this year, the number of internet users will be 3 BILLION!

That’s 3 billion potential sets of eyes on YOU,
on YOUR product, your offering, your awesomeness.
The time has never been better to step forward.
Do what you have to do so that you never have
to say, “I can’t afford that.”
Build a business that supports your lifestyle so that
you never have to say “I have no time to do anything.”

If you feel called to master belly dancing, there is someone out there who can help you do it. If you want to become a kick-ass cook, there is someone out there who can help you do it.

Put your attention on your own dreams for a bit. It’s the best way to make the dreams of the people you love come true. Start the business. Write the book. Paint the masterpiece.

I believe in you!

One Simple Step to Getting What You Want

You’ll want to read this one the whole way through! One question that a lot of people ask me is this: What was the game changer for you? What’s the most important thing you did to finally achieve success?

I used to say “Well, I decided what I wanted and I worked my butt off to get it.” But I realized that there was a deeper answer there, and it is this:

My number one, most important secret to success was finally eliminating my Plan B!

All my life, no matter what I was going after, I knew in the back of my head that if it didn’t work out, I could simply go back to __________ (fill in the blanks with whatever mindless, unfulfilling default setting you normally revert to.) And guess what? That’s usually where I ended up! Really think for a minute what kind of message that sends to the universe. Having a back-up plan says “I don’t really HAVE to succeed.” Plan B gives you an out. Plan B gives you the option to fail because within Plan B lies your comfort zone.

 

No Plan B for your business

 

Having one big vision, your plan A, and declaring it as a non-negotiable destination sets you up for success. Plan B says “if,” Plan A says “when.” When there is only one plan in your head, your energy is focused. When you refuse to entertain the thought that your big vision might not work you send a message that says, “I am doing this. No matter what. So help me out Universe.” And the amazing thing is, it does.

Is it risky? A little. But most things worth having are. Love is risky, but we fall into it anyway because the pay-off outweighs the risk of failure. The same is true for the life you want to lead. The risk is minuscule compared to the reward of living a life you’ve magically created yourself. Now I’m not saying to quit your job tomorrow. But perhaps you shift to an understanding that your current job is simply there to finance your Plan A?

That was the shift for me. I decided that this was it. And when a roadblock popped up, just like on my GPS, I didn’t change my destination, I just recalculated my course. Every time. Because when there’s nothing to fall back on, you stay standing.

Don’t waste any more time living in limbo. Life is meant to be savored, not full of frustration. Whatever your dream is, your big beautiful Plan A, we can make it happen.