But…

Yesterday I shared a post about how someone can be in love, but unprepared to care for that love.

I’m blown away by how many people are experiencing this.

Some relate and are heartbroken. Some think I’m terrible for suggesting we should leave anyone who isn’t perfect.

So let’s talk about it…

The reality is that someone can love you to the extent of their capacity and it still won’t be enough for you.

Not because you’re expecting perfection but because you can hold something different, bigger, and deeper than they can even comprehend.

It doesn’t make them wrong, it just makes them wrong for YOU.

And here’s how that looks…

You know that by ignoring your need for depth and connection you are betraying yourself…

But you feel guilty because you can see that they love you as much as they’re capable of…

You don’t want to abandon them and in that, you abandon yourself…

So you spend months or years battling your own mind, your compassion and your truth in a war of words in your head that sounds like this…

“But he is so good to me…”
He can never reach your soul

“But he’s a good man.”
He is an unhealed man.

“But I know deep down he wants to get better.”
Your hope and his good intention will steal years from you.

“But I can SEE how good this could be.”
You are in love with a potential not a reality

“But I can help her.”
Not if she can’t help herself.

“But I just want to keep the peace.”
Whose peace are you keeping?

“But this could be so much more…”
But it isn’t.

Your ability to see the higher version of something is an amazing gift.

But you seeing it does not bring it into being.

You wanting it does not make it real.

Your patience is robbing you of the kind of love your soul requires.

So what can you do?

You can stay, you can wait, you can hope.

Or you can accept them for who they are but bless them from behind a boundary.

You can honor yourself enough to make space for equal love.

You can show yourself the compassion and empathy you so willingly give to others.

Ask yourself “What feels the most like SELF-respect here?” and whatever it is, do it.

It will, as they say, break your heart but fix your vision.

Because maybe you can see their soul and maybe you can feel their potential but honey if THEY can’t, you will always feel alone…

You will always feel fractured…

And you will always be thirsty. ❤

“A person can be in love and also unprepared to care for that love.”

“A person can be in love and also unprepared to care for that love.” - yung pueblo

And also unaware that they’re unprepared…

And unwilling to BECOME prepared…

Which creates a disconnect they cannot understand or tend to…

Which leads to a separation they don’t want and can’t understand…

Which could all be avoided if BOTH people would love one another enough to…
get uncomfortable
go deeper
find the edges and sit there together
prioritize love over ego
walk through fear hand in hand
heal the trauma that keeps them caged
And prove to one another that the love in front of them is worth growing for…❤️

“Feed me, F*ck me and let me watch the game.”

A few days ago, I wrote a post calling men and women to do the work we need to do to truly prepare for wholeness.

It ruffled some feathers.

I could write 100 more posts on this topic and probably will but here’s the comment that’s bothering me today. I’m paraphrasing from several comments, some from men, some from women, all with this message:

“I read your post and it’s too deep. Men are simple. They don’t think that much. They definitely don’t feel that much. Feed me, f*ck me and let me watch the game- that’s all they want.”

Bullshit. My inbox right now is filled with messages from awakening men sharing vulnerable stories of childhood trauma and the effect it has all had on their relationships.

These are not weaklings. These are warriors. They are seeking wholeness. They are chasing down truth.

And as one put it, they are “kung fu fighting these demons and WILL win!”

The problem isn’t that men don’t feel. The problem is that we are still operating from archetypes prescribed by a society that has proven over and over again that it doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing.

Men don’t think and women think too much and one is from mars and the other is from venus and one is a nag and the other is lazy when the truth is, most relationships struggle because they aren’t happening between two adults but between two wounded children walking around in adult bodies.

We are more alike than we’ve been conditioned to think…we just express it differently.

Here’s what I’ve found…

Many men DO in fact want commitment. They value loyalty. They want to feel it all in their souls too they just can’t describe it that way.

They want a woman who can hold them accountable and love them at the same time, without the silent treatment, the bitterness, the withholding. They are looking for the same partnership, the same depth, the same kind of compassionate witness for life that we are, they just don’t express that in the same way.

But to suggest that men are simpletons who only think with their dicks and stomachs is not only archaic, but it diminishes the experiences of the men I know who are READY for more and who have ALSO walked through hell to get here.

So can we please give men permission to admit that they feel? That they long for? That they wish? That they fear? That they hope?

And when they do, may there be a woman on the other side who is embodied and whole enough to honor them for it, hold them through it and walk hand in hand with them out of the fire and into peace.

Because that’s ultimately what we all want.

To NOT think so much. To NOT have to fight to be heard and understood. To NOT have to figure things out over and over.

What the men who commented might not even realize is that underneath their words of bravado is actually a prayer.

When a man says “feed me, fuck me and let me watch the game” what I think he might be saying is…
Be the woman who becomes my peace.

“What would you do if you were born three times as brave?”

A message for my fellow people pleasers…

I’m a recovering “good girl” people pleaser too.

Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, after all, we all like to be liked.

We all like to make other people happy. But I liked to take it to the extreme.

An innocent comment of “you should really try…” and BOOM, I was shifting off course to try whatever it was.

A casual “I really wish you wouldn’t…” and BAM! I would drop any dream I was carrying.

As I look back, I realize how many opportunities I passed up on, relationships I stayed too long in, jobs I took, all because I was seeking approval.

Things I didn’t post. Books I didn’t write, all because I was afraid of upsetting, afraid to rock the boat, afraid someone would see my power, my words, my selfie and say, “Who does she think she is?”

You see we are taught to be humble. But too many of us misinterpret that as “stay small. Stay quiet. Stay hidden. And don’t for a minute celebrate yourself.”

“Humble” is praised as a noble attribute. “Pride” is admonished as a trait of the shamefully arrogant. But have you ever read the dictionary definitions?

Humble. (adj.)- Having a low estimate of one’s own importance.

Proud. (adj.)- Feeling deep pleasure as a result of one’s own achievements.

Let that sink in for a minute.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll gladly choose being one proud mother f*cker over someone who underestimates my own importance in this world.

CELEBRATE yourself.

Celebrate your beauty and your wishes and your quirks and your weirdness. Celebrate the fact that you’re a mystic at heart, or an artist in your dreams or a lover of all things sacred.

Celebrate the fact that you’re alive, and have something to say, and have deep desires buried in your heart that are valid and deserve to be lived out.

Celebrate your selfie, because it takes COURAGE to get that intimate with yourself and then share it with the world.

My 2022 goal? At least 100 “humble” people a week shaking their heads at me and saying, “Who does she think she is?” And at least 75% of them realizing they are massively inspired by it.

I’ll take the hits. I’ll transmute that shit into magic faster than you can find the next thing to judge or be offended by.

Because that’s what you do when you’ve had enough.

That’s what you do when your soul is on fire.

That’s what you do when it’s freaking TIME.

So tell me how you’re brave.

Tell me about how the muse has touched you and how life has tested you and how your soul has survived it.

Tell me what makes you burn, what makes you whole, what makes you iconic.

I read a quote that said, “I did not crawl through the shards of my own brokenness to live a mediocre life. I’ve prepared for magic.”

Tell me how you’re magic.

Tell me how you’re winning.

Tell me who you are and what you’ve made and why you’re a goddamn GIANT! ❤

I am a girl. I am a woman.

Yesterday I wrote a post straight from the heart. A post born out of sheer frustration that I realized later was less of a post and more of a prayer. It was deep. It was real.

And apparently it offended a few women.

If you missed it, the post was an invitation to men to rise up, do the work, be vulnerable, go deeper. And I concluded the message with this:

PS. Girls- do the same or stop complaining.

Well…apparently referring to women as girls is about one of the worst things you can do. Who knew?

“You diminish women by calling them girls.”

“Way to set women back 50 years!”

Here’s how I feel about that-

This is a pic of me as a little girl and a pic of me as a grown woman.

Gina as a little girl and Gina as a grown woman

What kind of message does it send to little girls if the word “girl” is downright offensive? How would my daughter feel if she overheard me telling someone, “Don’t you DARE call me a girl.”

I am a girl. I am a woman. I am a mother. A daughter. A friend. A leader. A mother-f*cking goddess on a good day and a vulnerable train wreck on a bad one. I am all the things.

The little girl is an archetype that lives in me and did not disappear when the woman formed.

When I’m smart, I tend to that little girl.

When I’m really smart, I allow her needs to inform me.

That little girl that I still let live and breathe in me is the reason I can still play and hope and dream and believe in magic.

She’s as vital and as real as the woman in me who can quite competently raise a family and lead a company and kiss a man.

In most cases, a word is neutral.

Hell, a knife is neutral. It can save a life, or it can take a life.

What matters is the intention behind it.

So no, I won’t be texting my friends to tell them the title of “girls night” is officially changed to “women’s night” or I’m out.

I won’t be telling my daughter that it’s ok that she’s a girl but only until she’s 18 and then being a girl is very very bad.

What I will be doing is teaching her to trust her own instincts and check in with the intention behind the words that come her way.

I’ll be teaching her to discern between a compliment given genuinely and a cat call given disrespectfully and to accept the compliment with grace. (Shout out to the guy who whistled at me yesterday and left it at that. You made a tired mom’s day. THANK YOU!)

That said, can we please just go back to 1991? We had dial up and car phones and no one was offended when we weren’t offended enough by things we didn’t know were offensive?

And thank you to the people who read the ENTIRE post yesterday and who understood that it was NOT a man-bashing, women-offending rant…
but rather an invitation for BOTH men and women to heal together, to meet at the edges, to bring one another home. ❤

A MESSAGE FOR MEN….

Gina Hussar

I get a lot of random messages from strange men asking what turns me on.

So, I thought I might just put it out there because I think I speak for a lot of women on this and I’m here to help.

Do you want to know what turns me on? What makes me burn for you?

What makes women like me breathless? What awakens every passionate instinct and unwraps every layer of fiery feminine sensuality?

Go to freaking therapy.

Do your work.

Heal yourself.

Lead yourself.

Be brave enough to get uncomfortable for the sake of wholeness and depth.

Be willing to build your emotional muscle so your arms are strong enough to hold the fire of an awakened woman.

Be open enough to lean into a level of depth you’ve never experienced.

Talk.

Be humble enough to admit that you don’t know everything.

Go deep.

Get real.

Stop hiding behind surface-level sex.

Evolve.

Confront what you need to confront so you can move forward without the shadow of your past.

Stop thinking that vulnerability is weakness. It takes a GIANT of a wild man to get vulnerable and it’s HOT.

Stop running from magic when it’s exactly what you need.

Stop telling yourself she’s too much when the reality is you’re just afraid to be enough.

Lead yourself so you can lead ME.

Believe that you can handle it. Act accordingly.

Be the safe space. The strong ground. The calm for her storm.

Do this and you’ll find your Goddess. Do this and you’ll be taken to a place of wholeness and ecstasy you didn’t know existed and likely wouldn’t have found on your own.

Do this… and you’ll be home.

P.S. Girls- do the same or stop complaining. 😉

I’m sorry, but you’re not Fu**ed up enough

So, I’m a copywriter by trade, and over the last year or so I’ve developed a heightened sensitivity to bullshit.

And MAN is there a lot of it!

One of the messages that is consistently thrown in our faces is the idea that we ARE in pain, and that we MUST get out of it.

Have you ever been feeling perfectly fine until you read a Facebook ad or a sales page that convinces you that you AREN’T fine and then all of a sudden, you’re whipping out your credit card to buy a solution for a problem you didn’t have ten minutes ago?

First of all, I’m sorry, because there’s a chance I wrote that page.

Secondly, here’s the shift I’d rather be a part of.

1. You don’t have to be CURRENTLY in pain to commit to staying out of it.

A lot of stuff out there is geared towards people who are in deep, emotional pain. And marketers PLAY on that pain. And if you don’t buy, then clearly you aren’t the right kind of f*cked up so it’s still your fault.

I remember a mentor saying to me “What kind of pain is your audience in?” To which I replied, “Why do they have to be in pain? Can’t they just have an unwavering commitment to the path? Can’t they just appreciate the benefits of practice and ritual? Can’t they just be passionate about living at a Higher level, with Higher perspective? Why does there always have to be pain involved from the get-go?”

I schedule healing sessions, not because I need to be dragged out of the abyss, but because they feel so damn good!

I buy organic face masks, not because I have any kind of skin condition, but because they FEEL so damn good.

It’s not a rescue mission. It’s a PRACTICE. It’s self-devotion.

Pain does not have to be a pre-cursor to pleasure. Pleasure can be your default setting.

2. NOTHING YOU BUY WILL EVER PERMANENTLY ALLEVIATE PAIN

Sorry, but pain is part of the human experience. As are stress and heartache and uncertainty and change. Change is a privilege of being alive. Some change feels good, some doesn’t.

But please don’t depend on any one program or book or session to help you keep pain at bay or eliminate it. Not gonna happen.

The marketers will try to convince you that their “thing” is the SOLUTION to getting out of pain. But that’s a misguided goal. The key isn’t to get out of pain or never be in it. The key is to learn to navigate it in the highest, most empowered way. To move through it and learn from it and be transformed by it. To get in front of it so that when it happens next time, you are temporarily stalled, not permanently stopped and fantastically empowered to process it in a way that serves you.

Pain isn’t the enemy. The endless quest to NEVER feel it is the monster under the bed.

The endless quest to reach some far-off future place called “Happy” is what keeps so many people miserable.

Happy isn’t a destination. It’s not a place you finally, mercifully end up at.

Happy is a journey. And a practice. And a commitment to re-calibrating, to going deep, to rising HIGHER.

 


 

High Society is opening up in a few days. It’s an invitation to STAY THE COURSE. To be your OWN solution.

And I hope you’re going to come hang out with me. 😉

Who do you think you are?

Hi. I’m Gina. And I’m a recovering people pleaser.

You too?

Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, after all, we all like to be liked. We all like to make other people happy. But I liked to take it to the extreme.

I was a freaking Olympic gold-medalist when it came to people pleasing. I wasn’t just going to try to get an “atta girl,” oh no. That wasn’t enough. I decided to build my ENTIRE life around what I thought other people wanted me to do. Around what made other people comfortable.

Around what other people thought I was capable of.

An innocent comment of “you should really try…” and BOOM, I was shifting off course to try whatever it was.

A casual “I really wish you wouldn’t…” and BAM! I would drop any dream I was carrying and shift my attention to the wish of whoever was speaking.

As I look back, I realize how many opportunities I passed up on, relationships I stayed too long in, jobs I took, all because I was seeking approval.

Things I didn’t post. Books I didn’t write, all because I was afraid of upsetting, afraid to rock the boat, afraid someone would see my power, my words, my selfie and say, “Who does she think she is?”

You see we are taught to be humble. But too many of us misinterpret that as “stay small. Stay quiet. Stay hidden. And don’t for a minute celebrate yourself.”

“Humble” is praised as noble attribute. “Pride” is admonished as a trait of the shamefully arrogant. But have you ever read the dictionary definitions?

Humble. (adj.)- Having a low estimate of one’s own importance.
Proud. (adj.)- Feeling deep pleasure as a result of one’s own achievements.

 Let that sink in for a minute.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll gladly choose being one proud mother f*cker over someone who underestimates my own importance in this world.

CELEBRATE yourself.

Celebrate your beauty and your wishes and your quirks and your weirdness. Celebrate the fact that you’re a mystic at heart, or an artist in your dreams or a lover of all things sacred.

Celebrate the fact that you’re alive, and have something to say, and have deep desires buried in your heart that are valid and deserve to be lived out.

Celebrate your selfie, because it takes COURAGE to get that intimate with yourself and then share it with the world.

My 2019 goal? At least 100 “humble” people a week shaking their heads at me and saying, “Who does she think she is?” And at least 75% of them realizing they are massively inspired by it.

I’d love it if you’d send me a selfie! You see me all the time. I would love to see and celebrate YOU! In my head we are already best friends. 😉

Hop over to my Facebook page, give it a like if you haven’t yet, and upload a selfie as a comment to this or any other post. Let me know who you are (who you really are, not just your name), how long you’ve been reading what I write, and what you enjoy or appreciate the most! Click here!

Here’s my selfie with my salt lamp for good vibes and fake sunlight.

 

Gina Hussar - good vibes

 

 

Bath salts or bullsh*t?

Here’s the deal…

I’m a sucker for self-care. I 100% believe that your SELF should be a top priority. Now as you can imagine, this is a hot-button issue with two sides.

That just sounds selfish,” some might say.

Think of others BEFORE you think of yourself,” says the old adage.

No no,” says someone else, “Put your OWN oxygen mask on first.”

Here’s where I stand on this…

Self-care and care for others are not mutually exclusive. They are meant to work in tandem.

self-care relaxing bathBut women’s magazines, in particular, have done self-care a disservice. Google articles on self-care and you’ll find advice like:

Take a bath with bath salts and candles.
Read a great book on the beach.
Turn off your phone and binge on Netflix.
Put the kids to bed early and drink wine.

Ummmm, so let me get this straight… I am only to care for myself when I leave my normal geographic location or no other humans are awake in my house?

It’s total bullshit. The truth is (and you KNOW it), if you find yourself NEEDING some surface self-care it’s because you have neglected the DEEP and ongoing self-care that your soul actually requires.

If you find yourself day-dreaming about an escape, it’s because you haven’t cultivated peace in your daily reality.

Because if you are consistently caring for yourself on a deep level and making it a practice, those desperate urges for a “break” are few and far between.

I was playing with my kids the other day and we were passing around a balloon trying to keep it from hitting the ground (at which point Louie, our psychotic animal, would dive on it and make it his dinner).

And it occurred to me. You are the balloon. Light and airy by nature. Self-care is what keeps you from falling. Practice is what keeps you from dropping to the ground. Commitment to your own well-being and growth and is what ultimately keeps your balloon from the dreaded “POP!”

So, you don’t need to forget candles and wine and Netflix.

But how about adding in a few things?

How about adding in a regular date with your own intuition?

And a few sacred covenants between you and your soul?

And a deep understanding of your non-negotiable boundaries?

And a re-awakened passion for bending towards the light and spotting beauty wherever you go.

Do a little of THAT, every week, and I can promise you, your need to waste three hours scrolling through Airbnb’s you probably won’t visit will all but disappear.

Because you will have cultivated a space within you and around you that feels like sunlight….

 

HIGH SOCIETY is just a couple of weeks away.

It is the gym membership for your soul.

A workout plan for your perspectives, week by week, day by day, breakthrough by breakthrough…

 

High Society with Gina Hussar

 

 

I’m curious… what’s one self care promise you’re willing to make to yourself this year? Finish this sentence: “Deep down I know I need to be better about……”

Leave a comment below and let me know.

I Love Jesus, But I Drink a Little

Ellen laughingA few years ago, there was an episode of the Ellen DeGeneres show in which Ellen phoned an elderly lady named Gladys from Texas. During that call, Gladys said, “Now, let me tell you something, I love Jesus, but I drink a little.” Ellen LOST it laughing. And so did I. Because sassy old Gladys had cracked the code on what it takes to be happy. BALANCE. She knew the secret to the good life. You don’t have to be perfect, only willing. What a relief.

Because here’s the truth: It wasn’t that long ago that I was at the emotional equivalent of rock bottom, kneeling in a church, asking God (out loud and not that nicely) why he wasn’t listening. But in the last few years I’ve created incredible miracles for myself. My life has transformed. I realized that the path to mind-blowing happiness and enlightenment doesn’t require perfection. You don’t have to be the Buddhist monk on the hill to live a kick-ass life of peace, love, wealth and passion. I am far from perfect. I am not the “after” of a before-and-after as so many Facebook posts want us to believe.

But every day, I recommit to living HIGHER. I sometimes drink wine on week nights, enjoy the Real Housewives franchise a little too much, and occasionally sit at dinner looking at my family through my fork, because pretending they’re in jail makes me laugh for a sec.

The point is, I look just like you. My life is real and messy and over booked, yet I’m still on an enlightened path. Still creating miracles. I used to think this way of living was for quiet people. Serene people who sat in lotus pose and meditated and cooked gluten free, made scrapbooks for their kids and never said the word “f*ck.”

But that’s just not true. This path to enlightenment and peace and miracles was very much for me. And it’s for you too.

 

 

Here are just a few myths about living a spiritual, more enlightened life that I want you to kick to the curb once and for all.

  1. If you’re spiritual, you shouldn’t care about moneyUm… no. Oprah disagrees and so do I. What’s important about money is your INTENTION. Receiving, attracting and earning money allows you to make a bigger difference in the world. It FUNDS your purpose. It gifts you with the freedom to live life on our own terms. So, make it. Love it. Hell, throw it on your bed and roll around naked in it. Money is a good thing.
  2. If you’re spiritual, you shouldn’t care about how you look Wrong again. Part of being spiritual is being attuned to what alignment means to you. It feels good to me to get ready in the morning, to slap on a beauty mask at night, to wear clothes that fit my body well and help me feel confident. If I were to go out of the house looking like a slob, my energy would be on the floor, my eyes would be down, and I would be giving off a “don’t look at me” vibe that might rob me of the chance of connecting with people and making a difference to them or meeting someone who might make a difference for ME. You can be spiritual AND addicted to highlights and Sephora. Whatev.
  3. Being Spiritual means you are quiet, meditative, curse-word free and walking through the world singing snow-white style and sneezing out rainbows…No. I know a lot of women who are busy moms in suburban towns. Towns where the people don’t talk about chakras and are more likely to consult their manicurist than their shaman. So those women assume that spirituality is not for them. It’s for the woo woos. The weirdos. The people out west. I mention how I live to them and they get this look on their face as though I just told them I secretly collect creepy stuff. “I can’t do that. I can’t meditate… I don’t have time to see an energy worker, I don’t even know if I believe in that stuff.” Then they private message me on Fb because, as suspected, they are warriors within. And they don’t want to go on resenting their husbands, feeling overwhelmed by their kids, feeling jealous of their friends or whatever it is that keeps them up at night because they haven’t yet realized that you can be who you are, and exactly how you are and exactly where you are and still quietly move from desperation to joy. You can swear, watch The Bachelor and NOT bake for the bake sale. A total spiritual upgrade really only asks one thing: Try.

 

You can start with just a bite. A baby step forward that whispers to the universe “Ok… I’m ready now.”

And the universe will wake up, roll its eyes at you and say with fondness, “It’s about f*ckin’ time.” 😉

To user-friendly enlightenment,

To walking the path,

To going deep in a shallow world,

To getting HIGH in 2019…

 

———————————–

 

High Society is Coming Soon!

 

HIGH Society is opening up soon. Hands down THE BEST, most modern, most fun, most transformative community committed to redefining what it means to be high society and working, earning, playing, thinking, living on a HIGHER level! Side effects include shiny hair, a brighter smile, a better sex life, happier Mondays, a fatter bank account and the ability to be your own psychic. For realz.

Comment below or email me and tell me ONE thing you want to learn how to do, be, have or manifest!