It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me.
But I have a good excuse.
My husband and I got a divorce and what followed was as spiritual gag order of sorts while I waded through the wreckage, while we both rebuilt a friendship with each other and laboriously (with the help of every kind of therapy under the sun) pieced life back together. (HUGELY grateful I have the kind of business that allows me the freedom to move through life however I need to!)
We are peaceful, thank God and I think we actually like each other more this way.
For us, the most loving thing to do was part ways amicably, eat pizza as a family once a week and continue to send each other good-natured, mildly insulting memes. It works for us.
This has simultaneously been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and the thing that opened the door to the most miracles. And it brought with it lessons that I hope every single one of you will embody.
Here they are, in random order:
1. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn how your intuition speaks to you and then follow that shit. Because it’s never wrong!
2. We learn by contrast. Pain is information that teaches you that what you currently have is the opposite of what your soul needs.
3. Know enough about your car to get by.
4. Buy the shoes.
Pull the blinds shut and don’t answer the phone.
Book the trip.
Hug your cat.
Let the kids stay up late.
Ask your soul what it needs moment to moment and do it. It might need a pilgrimage to a sacred place. It might need Netflix and Doritos. All equally valid.
5. Have a lawyer, an accountant, and a stylist you trust.
6. Have these friends: Ones who don’t care what you look like, ones who don’t care what your house looks like, ones who hug you while simultaneously telling you the tough truth you need to hear.
7. The fastest path to happiness is presence. Dwelling in the past is painful, dwelling in the future is pointless.
8. Realize that courage isn’t staying together for the kids, or enduring a job you hate. Courage is in being strong enough to want something that’s held together by more than your obligations and willingness to settle.
And luckily, once you’re through it, you finally understand that avoiding the pain was more painful than the reality of facing it.
9. Peace is a choice. Period.
And character is a summation of your habits. So, if you want to be a good person you must be habitually good no matter what is thrown at you or who’s in front of you. Decide what kind of person you are and then be that person. All the time. No matter what.
10. Whatever it is you know you need to do, be or have, the fastest way to get there is to be there.
11. Everyone is wounded. Everyone is connected by a universal human story. Lead with love and compassion and watch how much happier you get.
12. Practice discernment. Learn to beautifully balance following the flow with your non-negotiable boundaries.
13. Accept the fact that the most radical act of self-love you can perform is to say “no.” It won’t be popular. It will be worth it.
14. You can’t outrun your truth. You might stay a few laps ahead of it, but it will always claw its way to the surface. So save yourself time and heartache and EMBODY your truth. It’s the best way to find out what you’re made of and who belongs in your life.
Because life is short. And grace is Divine. And there is massive, blinding beauty in following your truth, in searching for the miracles underneath, and in opening to the experiences you can’t make sense of but are undoubtedly leading you to your destiny.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…